


Please, could you kiss my name when the music is over?

by pyton



Series: Beastdori [2]
Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: (beastars canon), Alternate Universe - Fusion, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anthropomorphic, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Food chain angst, Furry, Homophobia, NOT a love triangle, Polyamory, Trans Female Character, Transphobia, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22534954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyton/pseuds/pyton
Summary: ''This world is filled with scary dark sides and tender relationships.''_______________________________________________________________Shirasagi Chisato has done, without any doubt, the dumbest thing in her life yet.She hates how there’s no one she can blame but herself. She could, of course, blame Hina, seeing as she was a second part involved but Chisato knew very well that the fault is all hersChisato (a white tailed doe) has just kissed Hina (a common wolf) after the latter talked about how kissing Aya (a red panda) felt. If this was one of her movies this would be the iconic scene, the one everyone would re-member, the one that would be referenced ad nauseam. If this was one of her movies it would also be a one where all parties die horrible death or meet other gruesome ends.___________________________________________________________(Beastars/Bandori crossover. Can be read as standalone)
Relationships: Hazawa Tsugumi/Hikawa Sayo, Hikawa Hina/Maruyama Aya, Hikawa Hina/Maruyama Aya/Shirasagi Chisato, Hikawa Hina/Shirasagi Chisato, Maruyama Aya/Shirasagi Chisato, Minor or Background Relationship(s), minor misakanon
Series: Beastdori [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1542811
Comments: 51
Kudos: 64





	1. Studio

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve got into Bandori on 03.02.2019 so over a year ago. In this year I’ve started learning Japanese, writing fics and made several people question if they are furries.
> 
> I aim to continue doing so and sooooooooo…
> 
> Welcome to Beastdori volume 2! This time, ayahinachisa takes the stage.
> 
> Few things to point out before we start:
> 
> -this is a standalone story: it is a sequel to I wanna hold you but you don’t need to read that one to enjoy it (but please do I’ve worked hard on it).  
> -while crossover it should hopefully still be understandable without having read Beastars. Looking up short synapsis of it should suffice.  
> -this is not a love triangle, even if characters themselves may think so at times. The endgame is all three being together. That being said, every individual ship in the ayahinachisa triangle has their alone moments and that’s partially why they are also tagged.  
> -sayotsugu is a background ship but a fairly important and consistent one which is why I’ve tagged them. because I have a problem when it comes to them.  
> -I dunno how clear that is but the ‘food chain angst’ tag refers to the fact that a lot of characters in here have to deal with living in a world where there is a real possibility that they may be eaten, even by someone they know. It’s not cannibalism per say, as it’s only real referenced between two different species here but it’s uh. A Thing here.  
> -both homophobia & transphobia are mentioned; it’s not gonna be a huge thing and there’s only one scene that has character directly deal with transphobia but it is there  
> -lastly, both violent and sexual themes are present. Nothing explicit though.

Shirasagi Chisato has done, without any doubt, the dumbest thing in her life yet.

She hates how there’s no one she can blame but herself. She could, of course, blame Hina, seeing as she was a second part involved but Chisato knew very well that the fault is all hers.

Chisato (a white tailed doe) has just kissed Hina (a common wolf) after the latter talked about how kissing Aya (a red panda) felt. If this was one of her movies this would be the iconic scene, the one everyone would remember, the one that would be referenced ad nauseam. If this was one of her movies it would also be a one where all parties die horrible death or meet other gruesome ends.

Part of Chisato wants to say 'this doesn’t mean anything when it’s between girls' but she knows that Hina is way too good at reading her and will call bullshit. It’s kind of scary, how someone who completely lacks any tact, who can easily say the meanest, most hurtful thing you have ever heard in your life and then look puzzled and ask you why are you crying, is so good at reading Chisato. It’s uncomfortable, real.

‘Chisato-chan...? Sorry, did I do something wrong?’ _Ah_ , Chisato sighs in her mind, _right_ , reminiscing comes after she deals with... this.

Hina looks down at her, her paws still flanking Chisato’s arms. Hina’s ears are dropping, her tail between her legs... damn it, Chisato should be trying to diffuse the situation not to gawk at the other girl.

'Hina-chan,' deep breaths Chisato, deep breaths 'you didn't do anything wrong. I'm... let’s pretend this didn't happen, okay?'

Hina's gaze on her feels uncomfortable suddenly. Like she's trying to get a read on Chisato. Trying to decipher if Chisato is being honest right now. 

Chisato reaches out to gently try to pray one of Hina’s arms that are still flanking her but Hina doesn’t budge.

‘Hina-chan. Let me go-‘

‘Are you scared, Chisato-chan?’

Eh? 

‘What kind of question is it? Of course I am concerned about my career Hin-‘

‘That’s not what I am asking about.’ Hina cuts Chisato right there and now.

‘What do you...mean...?’ Chisato’s replay wavers with each word as the intense stare in Hina’s eyes gets closer and closer.

‘Chisato-chan,’ Hina asks and Chisato whines inside over how unfair it is how handsome Hina can be.

‘Are you scared of me?’

.

..

...

Is she scared of Hina? Is she scared of Hina's pristine fangs, claws as sharp as knives that grow at an alarming rate, so fast in fact there was no session where Hina didn’t complain how annoying it was to have to dull her claws every few days to play guitar properly?

Of course. Of course she is. Who wouldn’t be in their right mind? Chisato is a herbivore, a herbivore that is small even for her species. Any smart herbivore would be at the very least wary of Hina. Or they wouldn’t have much time in this world. Chisato vowed it to herself (and Kaoru, though she may pretend she hadn’t ) that she would live a long, looong life to show everyone the determination of herbivores. 

But a young her had no idea she would meet a hyperactive minty wolf girl who was currently pinning her against the wall.

Still, she’s not about to admit it.

‘Why would I? You are more like a hyperactive puppy than a dangerous predator.’ A bluff.

‘Mmmhm, but I’m a puppy with sharp fangs, aren’t I?’ As if to punctuate her point she opens her maw to reveal two rows of deadly sharp fangs. The sight makes Chisato wince inside.

Still, she isn’t an actress for nothing. She resents many things about showbiz but not how it taught her how to put a good face for a bad game. There real was no greater practice for acting than having to act all nice and proper around old carnivore producers who smelled of the black market, who gazed at her as if she was already a merchandise with a highly attractive price. For a young, small, _weak_ herbivore there was no other way to live in this world than to bluff her way out.

Here train of thought is yet again interrupted by Hina:

‘Cause, you know, I’ve been wondering. About the whole carnivores and herbivores business.’

‘Oh, real? Congratulations, I sometimes wonder if you think at all before acting.' that was probably too mean-spirited, but this was Hina- she would most likely just laugh this remark up.

As she did.

'Haha, now this is Chisato-chan I know and love!' something in Chisato's heart stirred at the last word 'it’s just... Those are a bit of nonsensical categories to put entire society into, wouldn't you agree?'

Chisato doesn't know how to feel about Hina suddenly dragging her into philosophy discussion but this was better than alternative.

'And what, pray tell, brought this talk on?'

''cause, you know, sis started dating Tsugu-chan a month ago,' yes, she knows cause _Hina_ wouldn't shut up about this topic ever since she has learned the fact, bringing it up constantly during practice 'and, like, apparently a lot of people had a non-boppin response to that! Not only cause they are both girls but also because sis a wolf and Tsugu-chan isn't. But they both love each other so why do they care if they share species or not?'

‘Because both you and your sister are large carnivores while Tsugumi-chan is a small herbivore. Society isn't fond of interspecies couples especially if one can easily eat the other one.'

Hina whines at this response. 'I know that part! It's just I don't understand it! Sis would never hurt anyone and especially not Tsugu-chan!'

'Others don't know it.’ Chisato sighs ‘It’s not fair but this is just how this world is.’

‘If it’s not fair why it has to stay like that?’ Hina asks this as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world ‘It’s not like carnivores and herbivores are clean cut categories anyway. I mean, Aya-chan isn’t real a herbivore but everyone acts as if she is one.’

And now Hina goes back to talking about Aya. She real loves that girl doesn’t she? Chisato does too but… whatever fondness she had for Aya it couldn’t compare with what Hina felt for her. Despite Hina’s constant teasing of Aya everyone except the girl in question knew how much Hina loved her. It was hard not to with how much time Hina spend talking how Aya was like a bright star, how interesting she was, how much Hina liked her-

It hurts. It hurts so badly. Chisato already had her heart broken twice but never did it break for two girls at once.

This situation is getting out of hand. She has to find a way to put an end to it. Something that’ll distract Hina and let her slip away.

And if there’s one thing she knows Hina loves it’s ‘interesting facts’.

‘Hina-chan, you know that us deer are known to eat meat under right circumstances? Because I am afraid of you don’t let me go soon we may find ourselves, shall we say, in the right circumstances.’

Of course, both her and Hina know there is no way in hell _Chisato_ out of everyone would be able to overpower Hina but this is not a point of this conversation. It’s a smoke screen.

‘Ahaha, I’ve heard, I’ve heard!’ and by the way Hina was snorting at Chisato’s remark her bait has worked ‘Mmmh, so, on this topic! If I ended up as a product on a black market would you buy my meat? As one last goodbye to your friend?’ as Hina is saying this her paw moves to cup Chisato’s cheek.

‘I don’t know, Hina-chan.’ As soon as Hina’s paw touches her cheek and then slides down her neck Chisato’s plan of slipping away starts being forgotten ‘I would have to know the prices they charge for wolf meat.’

‘Hmmmm, I don’t think that much?’ Hina strokes her chin, clearly thinking way deeper about this remark than Chisato did when she said it ‘I mean, we aren’t uncommon species but I dunno if we are that easy to acquire as herbivore meat...’

Chisato doesn’t know what Hina would have said next. Somewhere, at some point Hina must have decided that kissing Chisato once more was a better way of spending her time and Chisato agreed. Her resolve to escape and put this act to the end crumbled and instead she’s giving Hina an encore performance.

She’ll always have tomorrow for their final act. To play a role of a love rival who has last minute change of heart and gets the pair together. But she wants to have this moment before that. Let all concerns about tomorrow disappear.

Now she would rather focus on embracing a girl who’s a single bite on Chisato’s shoulder could kill her.

__________________________________________________________

Maruyama Aya can't sleep. 

How could she? A girl she has greatly admired, who occupied her thoughts more often than not, who seemed brighter than any star decorating the night sky and who was so obviously out of Aya's league has kissed her just few hours ago. Her! Maruyama Aya!! A clumsy crybaby was just kissed by someone as amazing and as radiant as Hikawa Hina!!!

Aya rolls around her bed, overwhelmed once more by the memory. Hina was...Hina was so gentle during their kisses. She always seemed like the type who would simply... kabedon her, lift up her chin while smirking and just kiss her without asking, their tongues battling for dominance…(she may have fantasized about this exact scenario more than she would have like to admit...).

But in reality they were simply hanging out after practice, both tired after having to learn new routine (well, at least Aya was- Hina always seemed to have energy to spare), just sitting on the floor. Hina was looking at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, Aya was sipping some water... It was a nice, calm atmosphere. And then Hina said:

'Hey, Aya-chan. Do you want to kiss?'

Aya choked at the water she was just drinking.

'Whu-what?!?' Aya's heart felt as if it was just about to burst out of her chest.

'I've asked if you want to kiss Aya-chan.'

'T-that’s not the part I am asking about!' Unconsciously, Aya puffed up her cheeks before realizing, too late, that this would be a sure-fire ticket to 'Hina laughing at Aya's 'weird' expressions' session as the latter barked out a laugh.

‘Haha, what kind of face this is, Aya-chan? It’s so funny, I love it!’

‘Ghaaa, Hina-chan! If you just want to make fun of me don’t say things like this!’ 

‘Oh, but I am serious though?’ Hina tilted her head as if surprised at how Aya could assume she was joking.

‘Huh?’ 

‘I real want to kiss you Aya-chan.’ Hina said this so serious, her muzzle transforming from that of her normal overbouncy self to that of a dashing wolfwoman protagonist of some sort of trashy romance novel, that always got steamy enough for Aya to be embarrassed to be reading them but not as much as to be explicit. 

Hina put her paw on Aya’s shoulder and once again Aya had her breath taken away. A girl she has admired, has longed for so much, for so long has her cornered against a wall. Hina was so close now that when she speaks her next words Aya could feel the rumble that resonates through the large carnivore’s body:

‘Can I?’ 

...

Can she?

Of course.

Of course she can and Aya hoped, prayed that the way she nodded expressed even just a fraction of how much has wanted this.

Whatever Hina received her full feelings was left unknown but the way she slid her paw up to cup her muzzle made her breath hitch. Hina wasn’t a love interest from shojou manga she has daydreamed about ever since she was little and couldn’t understand why everyone acted it was weird of her to daydream about being swept off her feet by a princely girl (something about boys being the one supposed to sweep girls of their feet. Well, Aya turned out to be a poor imitation of a boy but a much better girl, even if a clumsy one), but the way Hina’s gaze seemed to transform from her normal star filled one into one so sharp she could cut diamonds with... well. Aya thought she could handle a whole day of being teased by Hina if she only looked at her like this at the end of it.

It’s just a simple peck at first, akin to the ones little kids would have. It lasts only a moment and leaves a briefest of sensations but Hina wastes no time to leave second then third kiss before whatever restraint they both had was thrown out of the window. Hina has her pinned against the mirror and she doesn’t even care about stuff like love ban, about the very real possibility of someone walking on them, about _why_ Hina’s lips are on hers. She only cares about the feeling of Hina’s lips around hers, about how pleasant Hina’s fur is to touch even if it’s not exactly soft, the way Hina lets out puffs of air when they have to disconnect to catch their breaths.

Then, just as Hina tried to add tongue to the mix…

**CLANG!!!**

In daze Aya must have knocked out the still open water bottle and now all of the remaining water spilled all over the floor. And all of the sudden the magic atmosphere vanished and all that left was a creeping dread and embarrassment over realizing she was just engaged in a very, _very_ intimate make-out session with her band mate.

She doesn’t have the courage to turn and face Hina, not after the latter was just about to french her. She cannot bear turning her head and seeing the expression on Hina’s muzzle.

At least until Hina starts laughing.

‘Haha… hahaha! We got a bit too much into it, huh?’ any trace of the serious and princely Hina was gone, replaced with the same old Hina with eyes burning brighter than any stars Aya has seen in her lifetime.

‘Guess we should clean up, huh, Aya-chan?’

‘U-uh, y-yeah! Let’s!’ She quickly got up, so quick in fact that she felt dizzy. Or maybe it was just a mix of everything that has happened in the last what? 10-15 minutes? The thought they’ve spend so much time glued together made Aya blush. Thank god for her fur colour mostly masking it.

They cleaned up in silence, without Hina’s normal chatter though the girl seemed to hum softly from time to time. Aya didn’t have it in herself to change this.

And so the task passed quickly and Aya just barely realized they were standing before their agency doors about to say goodbye without talking about what the hell was up with the whole ‘making out in the studio’ thing.

Okay. Okay, she can do it! Maruyama Aya _will_ ask Hikawa Hina why did they just made out in the studio!

But before she could even utter one syllable Hina (as usually) threw her plans right out of the window.

‘Well, today was fun!’ Hina looked down at Aya while saying that, her sharp smile almost blinding. But what she said next reminded Aya just who exactly she was dealing with:

‘Let’s continue this another time then Aya-chan! See ya!’ Hina waved and then ran off to catch her train.

‘U-uh yeah! Let’s!’ Aya yelled out her replay before stopping and realizing the implications of what Hina said.

It was a second time today she felt incredibly grateful for her pinkish fur.

And that brought her back into the present.

‘ _Let’s continue this another time then Aya-chan!_ ’ that meant… more kissing, right? What did this mean for the two of them then? Was this the way Hina asked her out? Were they dating? Hina deciding to ask someone out by kissing them rather than straight forward confession seemed like a thing she would do.

But also a very Hina thing to do would be just to kiss her because ‘oh, I just felt like it!’. So Aya was on a crossroads here; if it was anyone else even her, full of feelings of inadequacy, would feel pretty secure in saying that at the very least they were interested in her *that way*. But unfortunately this was Hina she was talking about so normal logic didn’t apply.

So if Aya wanted to know if Hina liked her *like that* her best bet was to ask her.

And the best time would be…

Aya’s super nervous before their practice session two days later. And why wouldn’t she be? She’s just few minutes away at best from seeing Hina, someone she has kissed several times! And she’s supposed to ask her ‘hey, um, so are we dating ? as well!!! The day has barely started and Aya was already a trainwreck.

Depending on who was behind these doors she could be just seconds away from having a very embarrassing conversation.

Well, Aya thinks as she pushes the pawle, the world belongs to the brave.

And then she lets out a breath she was holding in when she saw the only people in the studio were Eve and Maya. She real was not looking forward to starting of her day with talking with Hina about their relationship status. Eve and Maya were a welcome sight every time but especially now.

Though…

‘U-um Eve-chan… why is Maya-chan covered in scarfs…?’

The chameleon is question, now covered in colourful scarfs from head to toes, awkwardly lifts up one of her hands to scratch herself behind one of her ear holes.

‘Huhehe, I’ve mentioned that I get pretty cold during the winter and Eve-san wanted to warm me up and… well this happened.’

‘O-oh I see…?’ Aya didn’t had much contact with reptiles or other cold blooded species before meeting Maya so seeing Maya’s winter get-up was enough shock for her the first time she almost fainted. A fact Hina was more than happy to remind her of, which would be par for the course but then Chisato had to join in. It’s like making fun of Aya was a perfect bonding activity for those two.

‘So Maya-san!’ her train of thoughts was interrupted by a certain samoyed’s voice ‘Is this helping?’ judging by the way her tail was wagging, Eve must have been very pleased with herself.

‘Ehehe, it does make me feel a lot warmer but, um…’ replays Maya ‘don’t we have heating in the studio anyway? I just real need gloves and I have those.’

In an instant Eve’s tail stops wagging and her ears flatten.

‘…oh, I messed up didn’t I…?’ the disappointment in Eve’s voice evident ‘I’m sorry Maya-san… I just wanted to help you but I only created new problems for you-‘

‘E-eve-san! You didn’t mess up anything.’ Eve’s further words were cut off by Maya ‘You just wanted to help me and I real appreciate it! And once we go outside I am sure all these scarfs will be real helpful. So thank you!’

And that’s more than enough to lift Eve’s spirits.

‘Maya-san!!!’

…and to tackle Maya into a hug.

‘Ouch, E-eve-san warn me before huhehe…’ but despite saying this it was clear Maya was more than happy with Eve’s warm, fluffy hug. As would anyone, real (well Chisato tended to deny that but it was clear she wasn’t immune to Eve’s fluffy coat).

As Aya’s thinking this Eve’s gaze goes from Maya’s (still scarf covered) face and in her direction.

‘Aya-san! Don’t you want to join in?’

‘E-eh?! I mean, I would like to but isn’t it going to be a bit awkward with my size…?’ she loves being in Pasupare but she definitely did not love being the small animal of the group. Especially how that involved a lot of Hina picking her up when she felt like it at first. It took quite a lot of talking to Hina how this was not an appropriate behaviour by Chisato for her to finally (mostly) stop doing that.

Eve shakes her head at that ‘It’s no problem at all! What kind of a friend would I be if I couldn’t give a hug to my friend in need?’

_‘I don’t think I am in need right now though…’_ Aya thinks as she approaches Eve and Maya and hugs them with all she got.

_Aaaaaah, this is it…_ she doesn’t reach higher than where theirs, okay _Eve’s_ bellybutton should be located but even that is more than enough to enjoy the warmth and some of the fluffiness of Eve’s fur and the pleasantly cold and rough feel of Maya’s scales. She loves being an idol and preforming but real, it’s the moments like these she’s so grateful she has met Pasupare. All four of them. Maya, Eve, Chisato and-

‘Oh, you’ve got a cuddlefest going on already? Let me join in!’

_Oh._

Right. _Hina_.

Any further thoughts are knocked out the moment Hina collides with all three of them and almost makes them all fall.

‘H-hina-chan! Don’t do this out of blue!’ because of Hina joining in the pile Aya’s stuck exactly in the middle of her three friends and while it’s nice in a way she’s also starting to feel the lack of air, very fast.

‘Eh? But if I didn’t you all would stop before I could join in. Can’t have that!’ As Hina says that she puts her paw on Aya’s head as if to pet her. As soon as Hina’s head touches Aya’s head she remembers just where these paws were two days prior and almost combusts from embarrassment.

She pries off Hina paw off her head and wiggles her way out of her current predicament. ‘A-anyway, we should be getting ready to start! We can’t waste any of our practice time!’ she real hopes no one will notice how flustered she became over Hina’s simple gesture.

But as she’s saying that she slips on her own tail and starts plummeting towards the ground. Today real was not her day, huh?

She closes her eyes, as if it will soften the fall but despite that she doesn’t feel the hardness of the floor but rather soft paws holding her back from falling.

Aya opens her eyes and looks up to see…

‘Chisato-chan!’ Aya’s eyes are filled with stars seeing her saviour’s visage.

‘Aya-chan…’ Chisato starts ‘are you still tripping over your own tail?’

And so Aya’s saviour has turned against her.

‘Gah! I mean- I was trying to squeeze by and got distracted this doesn’t happen that often-‘

‘Hmmm, but it _did_ happen during our last concert, didn’t it?’ Cold sweat runs down Aya’s spine as another voice joins in ‘I would say you still do it pretty often, Aya-chan~.’

‘Hiiiiina-chaaaaan! Not you too!’ why was making fun of Aya Chisato & Hina’s favourite pastime? Was she real that fun to bully?

The room falls in disarray as both Chisato and Hina start laughing while Aya tries her best to defend herself against the two. Unfortunately it was a task she had to face alone, as Eve was too busy still unwrapping Maya from all the scarves she has wrapped the girl in. This state continues until finally their teacher comes in and puts a stop to it.

The practice session is nothing to write home about- except for the fact any time Aya notices Hina’s presence she gets flustered and starts making even more mistakes than usually, which of course has to be meet with Hina’s comment and so the cycle continues. When it’s finally over Aya can’t help but sigh from relief- before remembering what she’s supposed to talk with Hina about and that brings her back to an anxious state.

‘I’ll be going now.’ Chisato’s voice rings in her ears.

‘Oh, already? Did something came up?’ Maya seems surprised at that and frankly Aya is too- those days Chisato usually did spend a bit of time with them after their session ended, even if only for a little bit. Her leaving right after like this wasn’t usual.

‘Yes, I’m sorry. Something came up and I have to leave earlier.’ Is all Chisato says before turning to the door to open it- but not before glancing in Aya’s direction. Or more accurately above Aya’s as Hina was currently standing behind her and playing with Aya’s ears. No matter how many times Aya tried to swat her paws away they would always be back sooner or later so at some point she has just given up. And she would be lying if she said it’s not nice sensation, she just doesn’t like giving Hina’s more ammunition to tease her with.

But as soon as Chisato meets both hers and (at least she assumes) Hina’s eyes she turns her head and heads out the door. Weird. She didn’t do anything to make Chisato mad, right? Sure, she wasn’t great at practice today but Chisato didn’t express her dissatisfaction with their performances like this.

The room soon empties even more, with Eve and Maya also leaving at Maya’s suggestion that ‘it would be better to wrap me around in scarves closer to the exit’ which Eve took with great enthusiasm.

And that left Aya all alone with Hina.

Oh god.

How… should she approach this? What question would be good for this situation? She practiced what she wanted to say to Hina this morning but now that they are actually alone she cannot remember what was she practicing.

It’s then that Hina opens her mouth:

‘Chisato-chan sure was avoiding me today, huh?’ Hina says.

Was she? Aya admittedly wasn’t paying much attention to anyone other than Hina today but she can’t recall Chisato acting any differently. Although…

‘Come to think of it, she did seemed to be more in hurry to leave today than usual…’

Hina nods at Aya’s replay ‘Yup, yup! And she didn’t want to talk with me during our break too!’

‘O-oh… um, do you have any idea what might have brought this on?’ Aya _real_ doesn’t need to deal with a drama between her bandmates while also pondering her own relationship with one of them.

‘Hmmm, maybe it’s about us making out in the studio yesterday? But Chisato-chan started it and she was pretty into it so I don’t get why she would be upset now.’

And just like that Aya remembers just whom she’s dealing with.

‘You and Chisato-chan-‘ she starts.

‘We made out a bit yesterday.’ Hina finishes for her ‘We were in the studio together after some photoshoot and I’ve talked how kissing you felt and then Chisato-chan kissed me all of the sudden! Pretty weird, huh?’

Aya feels like her head is submerged under water. This whole situation is bizarre and she doesn’t know what to think.

But of course Hina doesn’t take notice of Aya’s state.

‘She was real fun to kiss though!’ Hina’s staring directly at Aya’s muzzle now, with full on smile, her sharp fangs proudly on display ‘She was… hmmm, I think she was more zappin’ than you but you were more boppin’, Aya-chan!’ oh god now she’s comparing them. Aya knows this is not a competition she can win, not against Chisato. She can’t even be heartbroken over this, just disappointed in herself for even daring to think that Hina could have wanted to date her.

Whatever expression Aya was making must have been enough for Hina to take notice ‘Hm? Aya-chan why the long face?’ She crouches down to be on same level as Aya and puts her paw on Aya’s head. Just few minutes before this gesture would cause Aya to explode with embarrassment. Now it only makes her want to cry. Which she does cause she was never the type to be able to hold back her tears.

‘Eh?! Aya-chan why are you crying?’

Any replay from Aya drowns in her tears, with perplexed Hina watching over her.

For what it’s worth Hina is trying her best to diffuse the situation. The way she goes about it though…

‘Hey, will kissing you make you feel better, Aya-chan?’

That gets Aya to stop crying instead looking at Hina with a saucer-like eyes.

‘Wouldn’t-‘ the words don’t want to come out ‘wouldn’t you rather kiss Chisato-chan?’

‘Eh? What does it have to do with anything? Chisato-chan isn’t even here.’ Hina answers as if Aya has just asked her most baffling question ever ‘I real liked kissing you, you know! I want to do it again!’

Honestly, Aya should stop Hina and ask her to explain a) what is Hina’s relationship status with Chisato and b) what is THEIRS relationship status but… she doesn’t real want to. She’s tired from the emotional roller-coaster this day has been and the idea of being enveloped by Hina again is too seductive to pass by.

So once again she drowns in Hina.

She’ll always have tomorrow for questions.

_______________________________________________________

Hikawa Hina is slouching at her desk while rolling around a ball in her paw, examining it like a rare treasure. After a moment she picks it up at throws it at a wall just to catch it again.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

It’s a dull pastime and despite Hina hating dull things she finds it oddly calming. Maybe it’s because it reminds her of her and Sayo chasing balls as pups. Maybe it’s because, with the task being so repetitive, she can occupy her paws with something while analysing the recent events.

Event number one: she, Hikawa Hina, has kissed Maruyama Aya after Pasupare practices has ended and they’ve stayed behind because Aya wanted to practices more and Hina wanted to look at Aya more. And then Hina remembered how, just few days ago she has asked Sayo what is the proper etiquette for kissing and after Sayo finally came down from her coughing fit and explained, after chiding Hina for ‘asking her questions like that out of blue’, the ins and outs of what Hina should know before kissing someone.

So, of course, following her big sister’s advice she has implemented the first step of said advice:

‘Hey, Aya-chan. Do you want to kiss?’

Aya choked at that question.

She seemed to assume Hina was just joking around but after explaining that, no, Hina is absolutely 100% serious and real wants to kiss Aya, she seemed to be so eager, perhaps even more than Hina. It was cute. Aya is always so cute, with how much she fails despite giving it her all, her weird expressions and when she’s shining brighter than any star Hina knows when on stage. Hina could look at her forever.

Event number two: after talking with Chisato about kissing Aya, Chisato kissed her right there right then. Hina has no idea why but she couldn’t deny that it felt nice. Aya was giving it her all during their kisses, almost trying to kiss Hina with her whole body but Chisato was more restrained.

She also seemed to be as surprised at kissing Hina as Hina herself was. As if Chisato wasn’t the one to be the first to put their lips together. There was a bit of break between their first kiss and their next ones. One that her and Chisato spend talking. About herbivores and carnivores, about them, about Aya-chan… before once again getting back to the real good part which was kissing. Hina might have just discovered this new thing few days ago but she was already hooked. It just was so nice… not to mention the difference between Aya and Chisato kisses was so, so boppin’! No two kisses were the same and that made it even better; Hina didn’t knew what to expect.

And both of these events were super boppin’! But now…

She’s not the most sensitive to other’s feelings: she can guess as much by the amount of times she has made other kids cry in preschool, in the elementary school, in middle school… Hell, even know she’s been known to say something, a remark that perhaps wasn’t nice but Hina thought was honest only to be baffled when she has turned her head and the other animal had tears in their eyes. Well… nowadays, it was mostly Aya’s crying muzzle she saw.

Hina can’t help it; Aya just looks so, so cute and that makes Hina want to see as many muzzles of the adorable red panda as possible. Even the crying ones.

‘Hina.’

So why did Aya making a sad face today made her feel so bad?

‘Hina...’

Like, why did Aya cried today? Hina did her best to make her stop crying and she thinks she succeeded but afterwards Aya still had a sad expression…

And why did Chisato avoided her so much today? Even yesterday after they have finally separated for good Chisato’s eyes widened in shock as if just realizing what she was doing and before Hina could stop her she ran away. Today was no good either: Chisato made sure to avoid Hina at all costs. As if they weren’t tangled with each other yesterday-

‘Hina!’

The loud voice shouting at her jots her out of her thinking. Standing in a doorway to her room is her one and only twin sister, Sayo, wearing her casual clothes and a visible frown on her muzzle.

‘Oh, hi sis. What do you need?’ Hina asks.

Sayo sighs ‘I’ve been calling out to you for five minutes now and you were completely unresponsive.’

‘Sorry, sorry~. I’ve been thinking about some things.’

‘That’s great but can you do it without throwing the ball at a wall? I can’t work like this.’ Sayo pinches her forehead ‘It throws off my rhythm.’

‘Oh, sorry sis. But it’s easier to think if I am doing something physical as well.’

‘Then do something that doesn’t make so much noise.’ Sayo rubs her forehead ‘You could do... air bikes or something like that.’

Hina hums ‘Sure, sure but I think tossing ball is more boppin’.’

‘Not for my ears, it’s not.’

‘Mmmmhm.’

Sayo sighs at that but Hina can tell it’s one of her ‘you are a handful but I love you anyway’ sighs. Her favourite.

Now that she’s thinking about this… this could be the perfect opportunity to ask Sayo for advice regarding recent happenings.

‘Hey sis. Can I ask you something?’ Hina asks, slightly worried that Sayo would say no.

But that worry is gone once she sees the way Sayo tilts her head, curious eyes looking at her. ‘Sure.’ she answers ‘What about?’

‘How did it feel like to kiss with Tsugu-chan?’

At a mention of her recently acquired girlfriend Sayo’s eyes get comically wide.

‘W-why are you asking- this is a private matter between me and Tsugumi-san I-‘ Sayo’s frantic answer are combined with her desperately trying to hide her embarrassed muzzle.

‘So would it be okay if I ask Tsugu-chan about it tomorrow?’

‘No, because she’s too nice and will say yes.’ Sayo replies behind her paw covering her snout.

‘Eh, but if you already know Tsugu-chan would tell me why won’t you?’ Hina tilts her head ‘I mean, you know she’s gonna to spill the beans anyway so…’

Sayo groans ‘Because it is a very embarrassing story to tell my younger sister. And why do you keep asking me about kissing anyway?’ She pauses at that as if trying to recall something ‘Wait, is it about your bandmates?’

‘Yup!’ Hina replies cheerfully as Sayo lets out a sigh.

‘I… see.’ Sayo mulls over something before continuing ‘In that case… I won’t be telling you exactly… how it was…’ Sayo blushes at the memories replaying in her head ‘but I can talk with you, for a bit. About… what’s going on with you and your bandmates?’ Sayo sounds so unsure as she says this, as if afraid that Hina could reject her. Like Hina could ever do that.

‘Mmmmhm! I would love to, sis!’


	2. Fluffy and pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for a medical related transphobia & misgendering in the beginning of the chapter. My first appointment with a doctor did also involve him bringing up fertility as something I should be concerned about and my mom getting pissed at him (not so much for transphobic comments though cause uh... my parents weren't that keen on me being trans at first. We are chill now but it was rough).

_Tick tock._

Aya wasn’t a big fan of the sickly, pale white of the walls in clinics.

_Tick tock._

She supposes not many are.

_Tick tock._

Clinics always felt freezing cold. Not even the thickest fur seemed to help with the natural coldness that seemed to always make its home in whatever place a new clinic was built.

_Tick tock._

But she swears this clinic feels like the coldest place in the world today.

_Tick tock._

Across from her, on opposite side of the table sits an middle aged antelope- what kind Aya isn’t sure of. He looks as if he was born to be a doctor. His antlers- in pristine condition, clothes- so white they are almost blinding. The whole look was completed by thick glasses he had to adjust every few minutes as he was sorting through stack of documents Aya & her mom have collected these last few months.

_Tick tock._

Aya wishes he would just acknowledge hers and her mom’s presence.

_Tick tock._

She regrets hanging her coat now (brand new- her mom bought it for her saying ‘Look! It’s pink and fluffy-just like you!’. Aya cried there and then). She feels so, so cold and if the doctor doesn’t speak soon she’ll-

‘Maruyama-san.’

Finally the doctor speaks.

‘Yes?’ her mom answers. The doctor stops for a moment to adjust his glasses and says:

‘As I understand it, your son believes himself to be a girl, yes?’

_Tick tock._

Concentrate on the clock, Aya tells herself, concentrate on the clock. The kids in school (previous school now) used to call her way worse things, this isn’t something to cry about.

Her mom seems to be a bit take back by the question but quickly recovers. ‘My _daughter_ was born- assigned a boy at birth, yes. We’ve scheduled this appointment so that we could get her on puberty blockers.’

The antelope doctor hums at that. ‘What for?’

That stumps her mom for longer.

‘I- for… stopping puberty?’ her mom finally says, clearly baffled by this question.

‘I am asking why your… child,’ clearly, the idea of simply calling Aya ‘a daughter’ was too hard for the middle-aged antelope ‘wants to be on them? Can I discuss it with…them?’

Aya goes rigid at the suggestion.

_Tick tock._

_The clock Aya, the clock._

Her mom must have sensed her uneasiness at the suggestion as she puts her paw on Aya’s back. It’s soothing but only barely. The coldness of the clinic remains. There’s a lump in her throat. Her heart wants to jump out of her chest.

_Tick tock._

‘Aya-chan is… a bit shy and gets overwhelmed easily so… I don’t know if that’s the best idea….’ Her mom looks at Aya, her face full of concern ‘What do you say, Aya-chan? Do you think you can do that?’ her mom scratches her behind her ear. Aya hangs on this motherly gesture like on a lifeline.

_Tick tock._

She can do this- wasn’t being an idol about being brave in face of fear? The courage to reach out for you dreams, even if they seemed impossible? Are those not traits she oh so admired?

She can do this.

_Tick tock._

She _has_ to do this if she wants to be an idol.

_Tick tock._

‘I-I can do this…!’ Aya manages to get out. The doctor only nods at this.

And says:

‘Have you considered how this decision will affect your fertility in the future?’

These words echo in Aya’s mind.

The doctor continues.

He pays no mind to Aya’s reaction.

_Tick tock._

‘You do need to remember that you are a member of an endangered species. I know this is not something children your age think about but it is vital for the survival of your species that yo-‘

Her mom can’t take this any longer. ‘My daughter is _12 years old._ This doesn’t concern _her_.’ She seems to be barely able to hold back her rage.

And Aya-

_Tick tock._

Aya concentrates on the clock.

_Tick tock._

‘I know he- _they_ are young but this is a topic that concerns your entire species-‘

_Tick tock._

‘-what my _daughter_ wants is simply puberty blockers, I know those things don’t cause infertility and anyway-‘

_Tick tock._

‘-but taking them can lead to them being encouraged to take more drastic and irreversible steps-‘

_Tick tock._

‘You think _that_ will cause it?! For god’s sake, she cried when my husband joked how she would gain muscles when she hit puberty-‘

_Tick tock._

_Tick tock._

Her dad used to joke how ‘they, male red pandas are unfortune.’. Because red pandas are ‘cute’. ‘But you’ll be different, right? ----.’ He would say while patting her head ‘You’ll prove how manly we red pandas real are.’ She didn’t knew why these words felt like shackles at that time.

_Tick tock._

_Tick tock._

_Tick tock._

But Aya loved being red panda. She loved cute things. Off course she liked being cute. And cute was—cute was…

_Tick tock._

It was…

_Tick tock._

Was…

_Tick tock._

…cute was feminine wasn’t it?

_Tick tock._

_Tick tock._

_Tick tock._

_Tick tock._

_Tic-_

.

..

…

Later her mom buys Aya her favourite dessert and keeps on telling her how sorry she is about all this, about her not checking more thoroughly to see if the doctor was familiar with the subject, to not to worry about everything the doctor has said.

‘You can’t force yourself to be someone you aren’t.’ she says, gently, as if telling Aya a bedtime story. ‘You needn’t to worry about all the stuff he said.’

But Aya does.

And for the first time in her life she regrets being born a red panda.

___________________________

‘-yama-san.’

Mmmmnhmmm. _Five more minutes mom_ , Aya mumbles in her thoughts.

‘Maruyama-san.’

Wait, why would her mom call Aya by their family name?

_Bonk._

‘Maruyama-san, please don’t sleep in the class.’

_Oh._

Off course her mom wouldn't call her Maruyama-san.

Once again Aya gives her thanks to heavens for granting her this pinkish fur colour, though if she'll keep on being embarrassed like this her fur will end up with a much redder hue. If that’s possible, that’s it.

'I-I sorry...' she manages to stutter out. The goat teacher only sighs and gets back to the lecture. 

Aya sighs in her mind; she's been having troubles sleeping ever since her and Hina had kissed in the studio. Something they have now done two more times. While Aya keeps not asking Hina about what did she mean by saying her and Chisato kissed…

Well, she knows what Hina _meant_ but she didn’t knew what it, well… meant when it came to the two of them making out. Were Hina and Chisato dating? Was Aya cheating?? But Hina did mention that Chisato kissed her after she was talking about kissing Aya… so Chisato had to be aware about Aya & Hina. Yet she did nothing to approach either her or Hina in the last few days; if anything she was avoiding them, to the point both Eve and Maya had started to become suspicious that _something_ has happened between the three of them.

As always Chisato's lips were sealed but Aya… Aya was not the best at keeping secrets and neither was Hina. Aya was just clumsy while Hina was… also clumsy in that regard, just in a different way. Hina was very pure in a way. Aya still remembers when she first came out to the PasuPare and Hina shouting excitedly ‘Ooooooh, that’s just like my big si-!’ before stopping mid-sentence mortified. From Hina’s account, when she confessed to Sayo about accidently outing her she was surprisingly ‘not mad’ and was apparently okay with Aya knowing. Whatever she was comfortable with the rest of Pasupare, that she didn’t say.

So, real it’s likely only a matter of time before Maya & Eve figure what is up with three of them.

Aya sighs. Turns out romance (?) was a lot more stressful than she thought it would be.

The bell rings and the class ends with Aya not acquiring any new knowledge. The classroom fills in with chatter.

‘Hey, hey, have you watched yesterday news?’

‘Oh, yes! The one about the devouring accident with the zebra right? That was so scary! And it’s so close by, too!’

‘Yeah, yeah! Just imagine… being attacked by group of wolves and being devoured… I get shivers just thinking about it…’

‘Did they say it was a group of wolves? I thought they’ve just said it was a pack of canines…’

‘So it could be wolves! And you know how crazy strong their jaws are!’

Aya groans. All this chatter combined with her headache from lack of sleep is getting to her. Her romance novels usually skipped the part the lovable heroine gets headache from romantic (?) woes.

Well, she could at least get away from the chatter for a bit. Go outside, get some fresh air… maybe that will elevate the headache that’s been haunting her all day. Yeah, that sounds good and with at least one decision she was sure couldn’t possibly go badly for her Aya makes her way towards her destination.

‘Maruyama-san.’

Or she could be interrupted by a well-known strict wolf member of the student council. Aya was flexible, she could change her plans to include being scolded by Sayo for something. Probably for dozing off in the class.

Slowly, prolonging the inevitable, Aya turns and looks up at Sayo’s usual stern face. At this point she knows it’s just Sayo’s face but…

..but that doesn’t make it any less scary to have a big carnivore looking at her with a glare.

‘S-sayo-chan!’ just a normal greeting between friends? acquaintance?? twin sister of a girl she has made out twice at this point??? ‘What’s going on?’

‘Maruyama-san,’ Sayo and now Aya is sure that Sayo knows of all her sins and is about to deliver a stern talk about morals and responsibilities ‘…here.’

But instead she is given a… notice? by Sayo. Confused, she looks at it and starts reading it’s content:

_Notice to all Hanasakigawa students._

_We ask all Hanasakigawa students to be on a look-out for any suspicious activities due to a recent increase of worrying reports concerning black market. Herbivore students and those of ‘vulnerable’ and up species are asked to be especially careful-_

There’s more but Aya stops reading by that point.

‘S-sayo-chan, this is--!’

Sayo nods and says: ‘Yes, the student council appointed me to hang these notices everywhere in school. There should be a school wide announcement later as well…’ she coughs ‘I… thought I would give you a heads up. With your species being endangered and such.’

Aya smiles at that. ‘I see! Thank you Sayo-chan!’ off course, Sayo looks scary but she is kind. And their circumstance were similar as well (even if they haven’t real talked about… _that_ yet). There was no reason to be afraid!

‘And also…’ Sayo cuts in right between Aya’s thoughts ‘I’ve wanted to talk to you. About Hina.’

…

Maybe there was a reason to be afraid after all.

__________________________

Their walk to Hazawa coffee (Sayo’s idea) is an awkward one; neither of them can come up with a topic that will last longer than two lines back and forth so they give up on that, instead settling in an uncomfortable silence. Luckily, the walk isn’t terribly long.

At their destination they are welcome by a familiar voice:

‘Welco- Sayo-san! You didn’t tell me you wer- and Aya-san too?!’ despite her surprise at her girlfriend’s company there is no way Tsugumi would even think of trying to hide her excitement from seeing her girlfriend.

Neither can Sayo but that has an unfortunate side effect for Aya.

_whump_

‘Sayo-chan-‘

_whump_

‘-could you-‘

_whump_

Aya’s rescue comes in a form of a gentle squirrel.

‘Um, Sayo-san… you tail is hitting Aya-san’s face…’

At this information Sayo goes completely rigid and slowly scoots away from Aya so that her tail is no longer right in front of her.

‘M-my apologises Maruyama-san, this doesn’t usually happens…’ Sayo scratches the fur behind her ear as she says this.

Aya laughs softly at this ‘It’s no problem Sayo-chan! You are just happy to see your girlfriend, it’s just, uh, kind of hurts getting hit by the tail…’

Sayo flushes at that ‘I have to apologise once again, Maruyama-san-‘ ‘No no noo, it’s fine, real!’ ‘Still…’

They go back and forth like this as they are seated by Tsugumi. Hazawa coffee was a semi-famous place for any mixed group of animals- sure, most places wouldn’t turn down any patrons but no matter how hard they might have hide it was impossible to hide if the establishment was meant for medium sized animals if all the chairs were too small for you. But Hazawa coffee was perfect for any mixed groups of various sized animals. It wasn’t always the most comfortable agreement, with a patchwork of various sized chairs and tables, but it always felt welcoming. No wonder it was a popular spot.

They both order something to drink, though it takes longer than usual for Tsugumi to take their orders as, well… even if both Sayo and Tsugumi tried to be subtle they were only two teenage girls. Dating. And one had a very expressive tail.

So any pretence they weren’t flirting was quickly dropped. Aya real wants to say she was above of feeling jealous when seeing a couple in love but quickly accepted that no, she real isn’t after couple of smiles, giggles, subtle touches, the ‘Saaa-yoooo-san, I’m working~.’ ‘I know, I know, I’m sorry.’… With how serious Sayo was about PDA at school Aya real wasn’t expecting her to be so… blatant with her own girlfriend.

Aya’s devoted to being an idol but she would be lying if the fact that these subtle touches and smiles could only happen behind closed doors for her didn’t sting. Add to the fact that she had no interest in boys and well… for Sayo and Tsugumi to be so open in public took courage Aya can’t imagine she would ever have.

Tsugumi does manage to get their orders written down after a couple of more unsubtle glances, and she goes back to get their orders and take care of other customers.

Now Aya and Sayo were the only ones remaining by the table which meant…

…the judgment time.

‘Maruyama-san.’ Sayo starts, staring at Aya sharply.

‘Sayo-chan!’ immediately as she says it, Aya cringes. Her voice sounds like that of a weird mascot from a children’s TV program.

Sayo doesn’t comment on it though and continues:

‘Hina told me about certain… _activities_ you two have been involved in recently.’ The way Sayo has phrased ‘’activities’’ made it sound as if Hina and Aya were involved in much more salacious situations than they actually are (even if media would definitely see it as plenty salacious already).

‘I-I see…’ is all Aya can manage to squeak out.

There is a bit of an awkward pause before Sayo says:

‘She said she was also, ah, involved with Shirasagi-san.’

Aya gulps ‘Y-yeah…’ this is easily one of the most awkward talks she has ever had that weren’t actively upsetting.

Sayo taps one of her claws on the table for a bit before sighing.

‘Maruyama-san… I must apologise for what that girl put you through.’

‘Eh?’

This she was not expecting. She was preparing for being intimidated by older sister-mode Sayo for being involved in, ah, physical relationship with Hina, not being apologised to.

‘I assume Hina failed to mention few elements she deemed ‘’unimportant’’ but from what I’ve gathered she must have kind of swept you up into this um, arrangement,’ despite doing her best to keep her muzzle straight it was very clearly how uncomfortable the subject of her little sister’s love (???) life made Sayo. Well, Aya supposes she would also have the same reaction if she has learned her little sister has made out with two girls recently. ‘and so as her older sister I have certain responsibilities. So again, I want to offer you my deepest apologises for the trouble my sister has caused you and Shirasagi-san both these past few days.’

The whole situation is baffling enough to Aya as it but what Sayo does next is enough to make her afraid her eyes will pop out of her skull from shock.

Sayo bows, not very deeply but enough that it’s definitely noticeable enough for few other patrons and Tsugumi notice. oh god this was not a way Aya wanted to stand out.

‘S-sayo-chan!’ she yelps ‘it’s okay! You don’t have to bow, please don’t bow-‘ Luckily for her, Sayo stops bowing pretty quick.

‘I feel like this whole situation is my fault… Hina has come up to me recently and asked me about proper etiquette for kissing and I haven’t explained it well enough if she has somehow tangled both you and Shirasagi-san up in… this.’ Sayo makes a vague motion as she says that.

‘U-um, Sayo-chan, I… dunno what Hina-chan told you but…’ Aya gulps ‘b-but I… did agree to it so…’ oh god this is so embarrassing ‘…so please don’t blame Hina-chan c-cause I-I Iwantedtodothattoo.’ By the end she can’t take the embarrassment anymore and just devolves into mumbling. Judging by the way Sayo’s ears twitch she must have understood Aya’s anyway though.

‘I-I see,’ Sayo coughs ‘but I suspect the current situation isn’t… ideal, right?’

‘…no, it’s not.’ Saying this makes Aya feel so pathetic- too cowardly to put her foot down and ask Hina just what they are. As long as she doesn’t ask she can live in a reality where perhaps, Hina loves her too. She doesn’t want to shatter little what they have and if keeping her mouth shout by putting hers and Hina’s mouths together is the price she’ll happily pay it.

Sayo sighs yet again- likely her natural state when being involved in whatever chaos Hina has created- and says:

‘And that’s why I have to apologise to you. Hina… Hina is never cruel intentionally but doesn’t stop and consider others’ feelings. So unless you tell her that what’s she’s doing is hurting you, Maruyama-san, she won’t know.’

Aya opens her mouth to protest but the sad, almost pitying look Sayo gives her stops her.

They sit in silence as Tsugumi delivers their orders (with few more subtle touches between two lovers, with more jealousy bubbling up inside of Aya).

That is, until the door to the café opens and a couple of llamas come in. Tsugumi comes to get them seated before the llamas' eyes lock their eyes on the table Sayo and Aya.

They stop dead in their tracks. They quickly turn to each other and whisper something, occasionally looking at the table Sayo and Aya were sitting at- no, they weren’t looking at Aya at all.

It was Sayo they were looking at.

And suddenly, Aya remembers what her classmates were talking about.

_‘Oh, yes! The one about the devouring accident with the zebra right? That was so scary! And it’s so close by, too!’_

_‘Yeah, yeah! Just imagine… being attacked by group of wolves and being devoured… I get shivers just thinking about it…’_

_‘Did they say it was a group of wolves? I thought they’ve just said it was a pack of canines…’_

_‘So it could be wolves! And you know how crazy strong their jaws are!’_

And then the llamas turn around and leave the Hazawa coffee.

And then Aya can swear she catches a deep sadness in Sayo’s eyes.

And then Sayo sighs.

___________________________

They don’t talk after that scene. Tsugumi— Tsugumi clearly noticed the situation and wanted to come up and comfort her girlfriend but as it often is with fate, it makes simple tasks difficult as in the same moment the llamas left was also the very same moment the café got _busy_. So Tsugumi was now shuffling between all the tables & chairs taking and delivering orders- the most she could offer her girlfriend was sending her worrying glances.

So now Aya was the one who was stuck in the role of the only person available to comfort the sad wolf. The sad wolf in the question also has just drilled her about Aya’s relationship with her sister.

But… Aya has to try.

‘That was… kind of rude, wasn’t it?’ Not the best opening line but the dice was already cast.

Sayo stays quite for a little longer as Aya squirms in her seat. Then:

‘Perhaps, but I can’t fault them. They are simply looking out for themselves. So it makes a sense they would feel uncomfortable with a canine like myself after yesterday’s news.”

‘U-um, but!’ Aya starts, still unsure if this was a territory she should real wedge herself into ‘aren’t you bothered by it at all, Sayo-chan?’

Sayo’s ears perk up at that ‘Aren’t I bothered by what, Maruyama-san?’

Aya tries to gesture to a nearby tv or a newspaper but finds herself at lose when she realizes that neither can be found inside Hazawa’s Coffee and so her paw gestures morph into a nonsensical mess ‘I-I mean! The way everyone has been talking about canines since yesterday’s um, accident…?’ oh god she should have not brought this topic up they’ve should have just ignore what has happened and now Aya has made the bad situation even worse by directly bringing up one of the heaviest subjects possible.

Aya expects Sayo to get into her student council’s member mode and lecture her but instead Sayo simply stares thoughtfully at her coffee, as if wondering what to say. Marginally better reaction than the one Aya was expecting but still awkward as heck.

‘U-um, sorry, if that’s too heavy of a topic you don’t have to answer Sayo-cha-‘

‘I want to.’ Sayo cuts her off ‘I want to answer your question Maruyama-san. I’ve asked you some uncomfortable questions earlier, it’s only fair I answer some of yours.’

Aya wants to replay that this isn’t some exchange of goods that’s happening here but stops before she can voice it. She wasn’t always the best at reading others but it seemed like… it seemed like Sayo _wanted_ to talk about this. Like it was a topic she desperately needed a pair of ears to listen to.

Sayo clears her throat before starting ‘I… try my best to ignore it. It’s frustrating, but I can’t be too mad at wanting to be safe. The reality is that someone like me,’ Sayo stops for a moment and unclenches her fists, revealing her sharp claws. Sayo had to regularly trim them to play her guitar but from what Aya has gathered from Hina complaining claws tended to grow back real fast. ‘can easily hurt someone without even meaning too. Whatever I feel is irrelevant.’

Aya gulps. So mature…, she thinks, as if she could expect anything less from Sayo, member of the student council, the ever serious twin to Hina’s flighty one, the guitarist of a high school band that rivalled it’s passion with pros…

…but…

‘Is that… how you real feel, Sayo-chan?’ the questions slips from her lips before she can stop herself.

Sayo’s ears perk up in a surprise at that question. She glances in a direction of another table and Aya follows- there, in her work outfit and with her usual energy is Tsugumi, writing down an order from a couple of weasels. The moment Sayo catches on that Aya followed her gaze she turns her head in the opposite direction and puts her paw on her muzzle. Aya could understand now a bit better why Hina called her sister ‘cute’ now. _I guess this is what they call ‘’gap moe’, huh…_ she thought.

After a moment of silence Sayo speaks up: ‘It’s… frustrating. But I can’t do anything about this. So I rather lock these feelings up in my chest.’

‘But that… can’t be good, can it?’ Aya asks.

‘It isn’t.’ Sayo’s replies ‘But… I think both of us have things we rather not speak up about.’

Sayo looks straight into Aya’s eyes and Aya knows instantly what she means.

That one thing they both have in common.

That one thing they’ve never addressed, cause how do one start this conversation? Off course, Aya dreamed of one day meeting someone else just like her but… even though she knew that Sayo was in the same position she couldn’t begin to approach this topic with Sayo. Even though the opportunity she has dreamed for so long has seemingly arrived right at her feet she couldn’t take the first step.

But maybe…

But maybe--!

‘I-I suppose there are, uh, things like that for me as well…’

They could start today.

Sayo smiles gently at that and Aya starts to understand a bit better why Tsugumi has fallen in love with Sayo.

‘To be honest,’ Sayo starts ‘I don’t like talking about this topic very much. But I’ve decided to start taking a bit more pride in it.’

Sayo taps the coffee cup she’s holding and continues ‘Thanks to Roselia, Hina and Tsugumi-san… I think I may start to take a bit of more pride in who I am. After all, that’s also part of my sound, isn’t it?’

Aya can only stare in awe at Sayo.

‘I-I think you must already have plenty of pride, Sayo-chan.’ At that statement Sayo tilts her head curiously and Aya hurries to explain ‘I mean… you are already so open about being with Tsugumi-chan.’

Sayo spits a bit of a coffee she’s drinking at that remark.

‘S-sorry!’

‘D-don’t be. It’s fine. I’m fine.’ Sayo says with a cadence of a woman who was not fine.

Aya can’t help but giggle at that ‘Sayo-chan, you are real cute! No wonder Tsugumi-chan likes you.’

‘C-cute?? P-please take this conversation seriously Maruyama-san…’

‘I am, I am!’

Aya stops for a moment to reflect before continuing ‘You know, Sayo-chan? We red pandas are endangered so each one of us is expected to have at least one kid so we can continuing to exist.’ A pause. ‘So even though I love being a red panda, there are moments I feel so guilty because I-I don’t think I want to have kids in future.’

Sayo hums at that. ‘I see. We are rather common so that wasn’t an issue but my father was a bit awkward about his ‘’only son’’ becoming his second daughter.’

A laugh ‘My dad was like that too! He never said anything bad but he was so, so awkward about this...’

Their talk naturally drifts to discussing more and more about things they have in common or not. For how long did they knew, their coming outs, the joy at getting accepted into an all-girls schools and…

‘…she was very young then so I was worried but when I told her I would be her big sister instead of brother she just shrugged and said ‘okay’ before getting back to playing with her dolls!’

‘Fufu, it seems like your family is very kind, Maruyama-san.’ Sayo laughs softly ‘But I suppose Hina was the same way. Speaking of her, to get back to the reason I wanted to talk with you…’

Aya gulps- she completely forgot why they ended up talking at the café in the first place.

‘…please just be honest with her and tell her how you feel. I know how Hina can be but I promise you that your talk will go well.’ As Sayo finishes saying this she takes one last gulp of her coffee.

‘…will it real?’ Aya’s own drink was finished quite a bit earlier so she can’t hide her muzzle behind her own cup.

‘Oh, but didn’t you know?’ replies Sayo with a tone Aya can’t help but feel is uncharacteristic for the normally serious girl ‘I _am_ a Hina expert after all.’ And then…

A wink.

‘…’

‘…’

‘Please, do not tell anybody you saw that, Maruyama-san.’

‘O-okay…’ _‘’Not like anyone would believe me though…’’_

_________________

They finish up their meeting soon after. The mood is a bit awkward, with how much both of them ended up confessing to one another and the wink accident but it feels… it feels warm and comfy.

Aya doesn’t know if she can say her and Sayo are truly friends, how things with Hina will go, but for a moment she feels like she has a kinder soul to relay on.

And now Aya feels like she can move mountains. Having a honest talk with Hina about the exact nature of their relationship will be easy peasy now!

Yes, Maruyama Aya _will_ ask Hikawa Hina out!!! No matter what Hina’s answer may be!!!

Just then, her phone buzzes. Curious to see the reason Aya unlocks her phone.

_Chisato: Aya-chan, can we talk a bit before our next training session?_

Aya feels like she’s about to pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Chisato's focus. Regrets over romances not taken. Kisses.


	3. Acting directions in a tragedy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha... sorry for this chapter taking so long. Due to multiple factors it... took A While. But here we are! Back and as furry as ever!
> 
> Big shout outs to Alice silversilky’- not only did she look through this chapter but she also wrote a misakanon story set in this au. loneliness is only love's hologram \- a story that can be considered semi-canon to Beastdori. Morever- check out ‘Slow Motion Replay’ by her- an amazing fic focused on trans Maya years after PasuPare broke up.
> 
> I leave you with this chapter now, and a hope next one will come faster.

A sound of shoes tapping, as they walk in the hallway. Then the sound stops all of the sudden. The person must have stopped just before the door. They- well, Chisato knows for the fact it has to be ‘she’ in this case- seem to take a few minutes to gather their courage before finally opening the door to the training room.

_ creeeeak _

‘Ah, Aya-chan. It’s good to see you.’ Chisato prays that her tone doesn’t betray her uneasiness.

‘A-ah, hello C-chisato-chan! Uh, you said you wanted to talk to me…?’ Chisato wants to rub her forehead from a headache she is getting from this entire situation. Leave it to Hina to make her life so much more complicated than it had to be. She had that in common with Kaoru, alright.

Seems Chisato had a type, unfortunately.

‘A-anyway,’ Chisato clears her throat ‘Aya-chan, can you guess why I called you here today?’

Aya bashfully looks away at that ‘U-uh, no…?’ 

Chisato sighs- Aya  _ really _ needs to learn how to lie better (even if she looks adorable like this- steepling her fingers together, her tail curled around her leg… focus Chisato, focus). She’ll get eaten alive by the industry if she doesn’t.

Chisato takes a step. Aya takes one too.

‘Aya-chan,’ another step and a voice as sweet as it is sharp ‘you know I called you here to talk about what you and Hina-chan have been up to…’

Yet another step is taken by both of them. ‘W-we haven’t been doing anything Chisato-chan…’

‘Hina-chan already told me everything’ two steps now and Aya has no more steps left to take.

She’s stuck between a wall and a doe.

It’s a cliche situation- Chisato would roll her eyes inside her head if she was asked to perform it- but she can’t deny that cornering a small animal, especially one as adorable as Aya, felt  _ good _ .

God. Maybe spending so much time around a predator like Hina was starting to rub off on her.

‘Aya-chan,’ Chisato starts, as she looks down at Aya. Sweet, hardworking Aya. Oh, how she shakes like a leaf but still keeps her head up and answers Chisato’s eyes with her own.

‘Chi-chisato-chan!’ Aya yells out, before quickly covering her muzzle in embarrassment over how loud she was being. She tries once again.

‘Chisato-chan… I-i know what me and Hina-chan have been doing is a bad idea but- -‘

The next words she meant to say stayed locked up in her heart as Aya felt Chisato’s paw gently stroke her behind her ear.

‘E-eh? Chi-chisato-chan…?’ As Aya was saying this Chisato fell on her knees.

The times Chisato’s and Aya’s eyes were on the same level were rare- after all, Aya barely reached Chisato’s waist. Chisato did relish a company of small animals: made it easy to appear she was taller than she actually was.

‘Aya-chan,’ these words are delivered while Chisato traces the path from Aya’s neck to her ears ‘you really are cute, you know?’

All Aya can do is shiver. God, Chisato really thought herself to be better than this but Aya was just so… bullyable. She was starting to get why a certain someone loved teasing Aya so much.

Chisato only smiles and scratches behind Aya’s ears. Said girl can’t help herself and immediately becomes a putty in Chisato’s paws ‘Ah, you love this, don’t you?’ A soft whine escapes Aya’s lips.

God, this real makes her want to just take Aya and—

‘So, you two will kiss or am I supposed to do that?’ a voice, a voice that’s been haunting her for a week now interrupts them with a whisper in Chisato’s ear.

It makes no sense: how Hina suddenly arrived here, how she already had her arms around Chisato’s waist, her muzzle right by Chisato’s ears.

‘My, my you two are certainly not wasting any time while I’m away, huh?’ but Hina wasn't paying any attention to Chisato’s uneasiness.

‘Wow, Aya-chan! You must really want to kiss huh? Don’t worry, I gotcha’!’ instead she focuses her attention on Aya and kisses her- a kiss too involved to be chaste but not so as to be vulgar.

After a few seconds Aya & Hina separate with a loud ‘Mwah!’ from Hina and the damn wolf turns her head around to look at Chisato.

And says:

‘Awww, don’t look so jealous, Chisato-chan! I’ll kiss you too!’ that’s all Hina says before putting her paw on Chisato’s neck and getting closer, closer,  _ clos- _

**_Beep beep beep!_ **

****

A harsh sunlight, shining directly in her eyes. An alarm so loud it felt as if it pierced her very brain.

And a sensation of waking up from a dream too good ( _ horrible _ ) to be true.

Chisato slowly reaches out for her cell phone to turn it off. She feels like she has just ran a 100 meters dash.

The dream…

.

..

…

She’s going to need a good,  _ cold _ shower to get this out of her system.

_______

If someone told Chisato from a year ago that she would come to enjoy, bah, even  _ love  _ being in a band with herbivores and carnivores both, she would have scoffed at the idea.

From the very start she was sceptical of the idea, of not only a mixed species’ band but a one with carnivores and herbivores both. ‘Well, mixed species groups are becoming popular! So this will be a great boost for your popularity right from the start.’ 

So, not only pretending to be friendly with animals who could tear her to pieces and probably salivated just by thinking about it, but also that she could play an instrument right from the start.

Well.

That’s just an actress job wasn’t it? 

Chisato already had to pretend as if she couldn’t smell the meat from black market from her co-star's maws. As if she didn’t know what the looks directors, old enough to be her dad, gave her meant. As if she couldn’t tell what saliva hanging from her male fans’ maws during meet and greet meant.

She could handle this.

But then…

But then--!!!

No one could predict how badly their first performance would end up. It was a sinking ship right from the start. One that Chisato would have no qualms about abandoning but…

But--!

.

..

...

Chisato was no stranger to small crushes- there were several older women on the sets when she was a little girl that made her small heart feel like it was about to burst open from her chest. She didn’t understand why the presence of an older actress who played her kind teacher or her wicked stepmother would send her heart into overdrive. That is, until she got older.

Of course, she also got small crushes on girls her age- those girls either tended to be cast as her rivals, tormenting her character’s daily life or her perky best friend, with whom she would eventually come in conflict with because of whatever bland guy their characters were in love with (after countless scripts and roles Chisato had seriously started to wonder if any of the executives knew that women could be friends). 

And there were of course also-

…

These two didn’t count. They were… actually close to Chisato. In a way she couldn’t see herself ever being as close to another animal.

She got her heart broken twice- but wouldn’t make the same mistake a third time.

So she wasn’t bothered by finding Aya cute at first. It would just be like admiring a cute accessory in a shop you had no intention of buying. Harmless, if a bit self-indulgent. And she would leave as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

But any of Chisato’s careful plans were destroyed in seconds by Hina.

How was Hina so good at reading Chisato’s every move? She was easily the most tactless animal Chisato has ever met. Yet she was able to unravel the threads Chisato has waved around herself in an instant.

So it was hard to blame her for letting her mask slip off once, right?

_ Bam! _

_ The sound of the wall being slammed echoed in the hallway. Was it loud enough that someone would come and investigate? That was what the rational part of Chisato’s brain was thinking. _

_ But her emotional part, the one she has gotten so good at hiding over the years for her own safety was in control for once. _

_ And what it wanted to do was to pin a wolf girl bigger than herself against the wall. _

_ Hina, despite how easy it would have been, with their species being what they were, with Chisato being as small and fragile as she was, made no move to free herself. Instead she just offered a curious stare, the one filled with stars. _

_ The one Chisato could hardly stand. _

_ ‘You carnivores are all the same,’ Chisato snarls. It doesn’t wipe off that curious expression of Hina’s face; if anything it only served to make the sparkles in Hina’s eye ignite further. _

_ Of course-- of course Hina didn’t take this seriously. Why would she? Chisato was born unfortunate, as a weak, fragile thing even against her own species. She quietly raged against her fate, craving out as much space for herself in this society as she could, but her body wasn’t meant for this.  _

_ It was meant to be a meal for animals like Hina. _

_ But that could be her weapon as well. _

_ ‘I bet you if I offered you one of my legs, you’d drool and say yes to anything I could ask of you.’ _

_ The words left her before she could stop herself. Damnit, damnit, damnit! Chisato should have known better! Better than to let her emotions control her actions. She has spent years playing the role society assigned to her, to get even just a fraction of freedom she could gain by being chained, and just like that it all could fall apart. _

_ Chisato takes a step back. It’s okay. She can save it. She can save this situation. She just has to find a good excuse and it will all work out--!!! _

_ But as Chisato opens up her maw to speak Hina interupts her: _

_ ‘Wow, you really don’t mince your words, Chisato-chan!’  _

_ Exale. ‘Hina-chan,’ put on your most gentle  _ **_(prey-like)_ ** _ voice ‘I’m sorry about all this, it’s--’ but once again Hina doesn’t let Chisato control even just a fraction of her fate. _

_ Chisato already knew Hina was an animal without a tact but it still didn’t prepare her for how close she would put her muzzle to hers. _

_ ‘I guess this is one of the reasons you are looking for a way out of here, huh?’ this damn  _ **_dog_ ** _ has the audacity to basically whisper those words into Chisato’s ear. _

_ ‘I am not looking for a way out--’ _

_ ‘Oh, I am not judging you! I am not exactly married to the band, either! I’m only here because it seems interesting for now. If it starts getting boring, I’ll leave in a second~.’ and with those words the warmth radiating from Hina is gone.  _

_ She hates how she almost misses it. _

_ ‘Well, I am staying in PasuPare for now though! You, Aya-chan, Eve-chan and Maya-chan… you are all so interesting in different ways! As long as you all remain as boopin’ and zappin’ as right now, no way I am leaving!’ _

_ And, just like that, Hina is gone, leaving Chisato all alone to deal with the new feeling she has unearthed. _

….

Honestly, PasuPare really was Chisato’s start. Without all it’s members she doesn’t know where she would be. Probably still untrusting towards any and all carnivores, still feeling completely alone when not with Kanon (poor girl; she tried so hard for Chisato but there were just some things an animal who never had to, thank god, deal with entertainment industry couldn’t get), still feeling like she was treated like just like a merchandise in black market. 

Well… it wasn’t like those feelings completely went away.

But she wasn’t alone now. Aya’s gentle determination, Hina’s sparkling curiosity, Eve’s pure kindness and Maya’s firm reliability were her saving graces in this cold world she grew.

Unfortunately, that also meant she had more than herself to worry about. 

The only one who seemed strangely capable of taking care of herself in this rotten world was Hina, and that was because she had neither knowledge nor care for the rules. But the rest…

Well, the one and only thing she could do for them was to look after them and hopefully steer them in the right direction. Chisato wouldn’t describe herself as a caring or nice animal; but everyone in PasuPare offered her a place in this world so this was the least she could do for them.

‘Ah, do you need a refill? I can bring you one, if you would like.’ A kind voice, calling from just below her interupts her train of thoughts.

Chisato smiles as she looks at the owner of the voice in question. 

‘I would love to. Thank you very much, Tsugumi-chan.’ Before Tsugumi could even begin to climb on the small, built-in ladder by the table, Chisato picked up her empty cup and offered it to her. Tsugumi bashfully takes it, and runs to get Chisato’s refill.

And leaving Chisato with nothing to do before Kanon got here, except for maybe checking up some online news.

She unlocks her phone, and scrolls down social media; this actor was caught cheating, that actress was seen taking part in a party that served meat, some-- ah, Aya was still as active on social media as ever. That was good- the current situation apparently hasn’t weighted so hard on her to drastically change her posting habits. Hopefully, this… situation would end up blowing over soon.

Though, hope was a bit of a foolish thing when it came to any situation involving Hina.

More mindless scrolling as Chisato’s thoughts were occupied by Aya and Hina both until…

_ Gruesome murder in XXX city! Young wolf aged 19 targeted by a gang specializing in rare fur trade! _

Chisato’s blood runs cold. She feels sick. Not only any reminder that even an animal with superior strength wasn’t safe in this world was enough to make her weak in her knees but also…

The photo attached, of the wolf man-  _ boy _ \- back from when he was still alive, still breathing. His muzzle. His eyes. His fur.

It all reminded Chisato of Hina so, so much.

Hina might have been a genius, but even that wouldn’t protect her from a gang of animals without morals. And there was nothing Chisato could possibly do for Hina that could protect her.

Not with her fragile body.

No matter how hard Chisato might have tried, the reality of her body being only good as a filling meal filled every corner of her life.

She could never protect the ones she loved.

A small vibration felt in her paw brings her out of her spiral. Just a short message from Kanon- how she’ll arrive in just about five minutes.

Good.

Maybe once Kanon gets her it will stop this reminiscing mood.

Just five more minutes.

__________________________________

_ It hurts. _

_ These big innocent eyes, the bouquet almost too big for Kaoru to hold on her own, but she still tries so, so hard. Kaoru was shaking like a leaf but she put on a brave face for her Chi-chan. _

_ ‘C-chi-chan…’ Kaoru says as she gathers her courage and thrusts the bouquet towards Chisato. God, with a bouquet so large Kaoru must have spent almost all of her allowance on it. _

_ Only the best for her Chi-chan after all. _

_ It hurt so badly. _

_ ‘Kao-chan…’ Chisato feels bile building up in her throat already. She knows that she will most likely regret these next words for the rest of her life. _

_ ‘I--’ _

_______________________________

‘I am so, so sorry Chisato-chan! I got the directions to the station wrong, so Hagumi-chan and Misaki-chan had to come and help me and then it took us a bit to get here--’

Chisato giggles at her friend's adorable ramblings ‘Kanon-chan,’ Chisato interupts her ‘It’s okay. You weren’t that late.’

‘Still…’ Kanon replies.

‘What matters is that you are here,’ smiles Chisato ‘and that I own your saviours thanks.’

The saviours in question were standing rather awkwardly by their table. Well, it was more accurate to say that Misaki was standing awkwardly- Hagumi meanwhile seemed just happy to be here.

It was in a moment like these Chisato realized just how much PasuPare has really changed her- there’s no way past her would feel so at ease in the presence of two carnivores who could kill her with one swipe of their claws.

But instead of fear her heart was only filled with gratitude for her friend’s friends. 

‘Really, I can’t thank you enough for helping Kanon, Hagumi-chan, Misaki-chan.’

A small twitch of the bear's ear. Misaki must have noticed that as she made sure to tug down her hat in hopes of driving attention away from her ears.

‘A-ah, t-thanks Shirasagi-senpai but,’ Misaki starts ‘but it’s really not a big deal…’

Chisato smiles at that ‘Oh, on the contrary- it just proves how good of a girlfriend you are, Misaki-chan-’ were Misaki drinking, it would be a moment for her to spit out her drink ‘-and how good friend Hagumi-chan is.’ Hagumi seemed to be ready to supply a whole district with electricity just from the energy this compliment gave her.

‘It’s no problem!’ Hagumi beams ‘Kanon-chan-senpai is always helping me with my homework and with the band too! I am not… that smart so I’m happy I can help her with something too!’ Hagumi’s ears flatten a bit when saying the last part. 

Kanon shakes her head at that ‘D-don’t say that, Hagumi-chan! I mean, just because you aren’t good at school doesn’t mean you aren’t smart. You always help me with getting to places I need a-and you are good at sports so… so, um…’ despite her passionate start Kanon must have lost track of what she wanted to say.

‘What Kanon-san meant to say,’ Misaki interrupts ‘is that there is other stuff you are good at Hagumi.’

‘Y-yeah! That’s exactly that Misaki-chan.’ Kanon nods and for a few seconds there is this sickly romantic air around them. At least until Hagumi interrupted it with:

‘Wow, Mii-kun, Kano-chan-senpai! You two have been even nicer ever since you’ve started dating!’

That was enough to make both Misaki and Kanon expressions to morph to thoroughly embarrassed ones. Kanon’s soft ‘fuee…’ and Misaki’s trying to tug her hat on even harder, despite it being a futile task.

‘W-well! Me and Hagumi should really get going! It’s your private outing with Shirasagi-senpai after all so, um… we’ll be off.’ Misaki says as she nervously scratches behind her ear, clearly wanting to put this embarrassing atmosphere behind her. Poor girl always seemed so nervous around Chisato- and it only seemed to get worse after she started dating Kanon. No enemy like your girlfriend’s best friend, huh?

(Chisato would be lying if she said that seeing a still growing, mass of claws and fangs be terrified of her, a small deer didn’t feel good. But some things were meant to be private.)

But as Misaki and Hagumi get ready to leave, a small voice suddenly calls.

‘W-wait!’

Chisato isn’t sure when Kanon got up, but the alpaca wastes no time to walk up to Misaki and Hagumi.

‘Hm? Kanon-san? Did you forget something?’ Misaki asks, a concern in her voice.

‘Fuee! I mean.. Y-yeah, um…’ Whatever it was, Kanon is obviously embarrassed about it. After a moment of thought, Misaki bends just a bit to be on Kanon’s level (Chisato still was shocked just how much a bear could grow in such a short span of time they knew each other- her and Kanon were roughly the same height when they met but now there was a considerable difference between the two).

‘Kanon-san---?!?’ 

Suddenly, after gathering all of her courage Kanon left a quick kiss on Misaki’s cheek and quickly got back to their table, while Hagumi was left to deal with a log of a bear alone (though, it didn’t seem like the cheetah minded).

They sit like this, in silence, before Chisato giggles.

‘My, Kanon, you’ve certainly become quite bold.’

At that comment Kanon groans and hides her muzzle between her paws.

‘Chisato-chan… please don’t make fun of me…’

‘Fufu, I am not making fun of you, Kanon. I am merely stating my observations.’

‘Fueeeee….’ It takes a bit of coaxing on Chisato’s part to get Kanon to stop hiding, but eventually she manages, just in time to order.

They spend their time on idle chat, one that content will be forgotten in a week or two but the warm atmosphere will forever be something the two of them will be able to recall.

Seeing Kanon so happy now, talking about hers and Misaki’s latest date, and having just seen their surprisingly public display of affection, makes an old wound resurface. Even if Chisato was by now comfortable by putting her affection for Kanon as an old story, it didn’t stop the memories of how it tore her heart apart when Kanon confessed to Chisato about her crush on her reluctant bandmate. How badly she has wanted to keep Kanon all to herself, to warn her just how dangerous even a mere friendship with a bear of all animals would be for a delicate animal as Kanon...

But Shirasagi Chisato is an actress and she had a role to play. Of a supportive best friend, a shoulder to cry on. So instead she simply listened to Kanon ramble on about how passionate Misaki is under layers of indifference or how she would always check on Kanon.

 _Hey_ _Kanon_ , she wanted to ask so badly, _didn_ _’_ _t_ _I_ _do_ _these_ _things_ _for_ _you_ _before_ _you_ _’_ _ve_ _met_ _her_ _?_

_ Hey Kanon, why do you look at someone who could so easily tear you apart with so much love? _

_ Hey Kanon, why wasn’t I good enough for you? _

_ Hey Kanon-- _

But she never did.

And now the bear and the alpaca are dating.

‘...and then Misaki-chan said that my fur feels like what she would imagine a cloud would feel like before getting so embarrassed she tried to hide her muzzle with her hat, except she wasn’t wearing it so instead she had to hide her muzzle in her paws- ah, sorry I must be rambling!’

_ Damnit, Chisato muzzle must have shown her displeasure at her inner thoughts. _

‘Ah, not at all Kanon.’ A smile, worth enough that producers would fight among themselves to the right to put it on a poster and yet so little they could underpay her. A good actress is always ready for her scene, Chisato. ‘I was just a bit… distracted. But I am glad to hear you and Misaki-chan are doing well.’

Kanon looks down at her tea, clearly embarrassed ‘I-i guess we are…’ a perfect bashful young herbivore lady in love… except for the fact the animal said bashful herbivore had successfully courted was a still growing girl bear.

… this was not helping Chisato with her current problem.

‘Chisato-chan? Is everything alright?’ Kanon looks at her while tilting her head in a curious fashion ‘S-sorry if I am speaking out of turn here, but, um, you’ve seemed… distracted the whole time today. A-and if I can do anything to help…!’

Chisato continues to stir her tea while pondering how honest she ought to be with Kanon. On one hand, she would trust Kanon with her life- on the other it was in her nature to conceal every aspect of her life that she would rather not become a celebrity gossip. So even knowing that Kanon would never betray her-- there just were some things she couldn’t afford to say. Not in public.

But half truths…

‘Actually…’ Chisato starts. ‘I have a question for you, Kanon.’

‘O-oh? I’ll do my best to answer…’

‘Kanon…

...how is it like to date a carnivore?’

‘Eh?’

An excuse ‘I’ve got an offer to play a small role in a crime show recently,’ well, that part was true ‘and my character is involved with, ah, a relationship with a carnivore.’ this one wasn’t. Well, she could always say that the network decided that the material was too risky and decided to put the subplot on the cutting room floor.

‘Aaaah, I see…’ Chisato feels a sharp sense of guilt over seeing how serious Kanon pondered her lie. Well… a half-lie; she really was involved in a relationship with a carnivore.

It just wasn’t romantic.

At least not in a way that was reciprocated.

‘Hmmmm…it feels pretty normal?’ Kanon answers, with a finger right against her chin ‘I mean, Misaki-chan is the only animal I have ever dated but… we talk, we go on dates and ki- um, do dating… stuff like everyone else?’

Chisato frowns ‘But what about your physical differences? ...forgive me for saying this, but I can’t imagine the fact that Misaki-chan is still a growing bear has no bearing on your relationship.’  _ Not to mention the fact she would crush you if she held you too tightly. _

‘W-well…’ Kanon starts, a bit hesitant ‘I-i mean, I suppose holding paws would feel differently… and her fur does feel very different from mine but… not two animals are the same, so I don’t think it really matters that much. As long as you love each other, I think it’ll work out.’ as soon as she finishes saying this Kanon’s eyes open wide at realization of just what exactly she has said. It seems that even after a few months of dating it was still embarrassing for her to say the word ‘love’ out loud.

‘I… suppose that’s true...’ Chisato feels a certain type of dread over what she's about to ask ‘... but it does matter to others, doesn’t it?’

There is an uncomfortable silence after the words fall from Chisato’s muzzle.

It’s not like they have never broached this topic before but never since Kanon started dating Misaki. Ever since they grew close enough that Chisato felt comfortable confiding to Kanon how she was sure to become one of those actresses who ‘mysteriously’ would never date or marry but would be often accompanied by a ‘close girl friend’.

But these talks were uncomfortable and always cut short.

It’s scary to be seen after all.

‘... others. Do often whisper among each other when they see Misaki-chan and I holding paws,’ as always, it’s Kanon, brave, sweet Kanon who breaks the silence. ‘I don’t know if they look at us… like  _ that _ because we are different species o-or because we are both girls or because they get suspicious of me or if it’s all three.’ 

Chisato knew all this before Kanon confirmed it but the bitter realization of what her best friend had to deal with for simply wanting to hold paws with her girlfriend still stung.

And once again Chisato could do nothing.

‘... I’m sorry Kanon, I shouldn’t have brought this up--‘

‘It’s fine!’ Kanon cuts in. She seems startled by her reaction herself, with her big eyes and her ears standing up but continues ‘it’s… fine Chisato-chan. I-i don’t like talking about this but… I also need to talk about this, if that makes sense?’

Chisato can only nod at that. This scene only requires her presence not words.

And even if her dreams of being the pair of arms Kanon would choose above all others would never be fulfilled she would still offer them to her.

Because, even with a broken heart, she loved Kanon. She loved Kanon so much even if her heart still hurt a little when seeing her.

So Chisato would offer Kanon her shoulder to cry on, even if there were things about Kanon she could never truly understand.

No matter what, she couldn’t abandon her friend.

——

_ ‘-it’s just, sometimes I worry that I am gross- ah, I am sorry, Chisato-chan, you were so nice to take me out and here I am bothering you with my problems.’ _

_ Chisato smiles ‘Nonsense, Kanon.’ She looks down for a moment to look at the remains of her tea ‘We are friends after all. What sort of friend would I be if I didn’t lend a friendly ear when my friend is troubled?’ _

_ Kanon flashes her an awkward but so, so beautiful smile at that. Chisato’s heartbeat picks up. _

_ It’s like with every meeting her heart grows fonder of the alpaca. _

_ Chisato looks away, bashfully, before continuing ‘I… can’t pretend that I really know what you are going through but I will always hear you out.’ _

_ ‘Thank you, Chisato-chan, really. I don’t know what I would do without you…’ _

_ ‘You are a strong girl, Kanon. You would be able to shine just as hard without me.’ but if you just asked, I would love to make you shine even more, she thinks. _

_ They sit in a comfortable silence for a while before Chisato decides to ask a question that has been boring into her mind since she and Kanon met today. _

_ ‘Kanon… if you don’t mind me asking… was there any reason why you wanted to vent to me about, ehm, your feelings towards other girls?’ Kanon usually didn’t initiate girls talk if there wasn’t something happening in her life that was related. Whatever it was dealing with a love letter from an underclassmate, or if Kanon was unlucky enough to hear or read something that made her doubt her worth, there was always a reason for these talks. Even if it hurt Chisato to see her friend in pain, these talks were also one of few oases of peace and safety, where she wasn’t afraid that her eyes lingered on other girls' bodies for a few seconds too long.  _

_ Kanon’s ears prick up and a small ‘fueee…’ escapes from her mouth. _

_ But there is no hesitation (Chisato wishes there was) when she answers: _

_ ‘Actually, Chisato-chan… _

_ There’s…  _

_ someone I like in my band’ _

_ And just like that, _

_ Chisato’s heart shattered. _

__

A sound of shoes tapping, as they walk in the hallway. Then the sound stops all of the sudden. The person must have stopped just before the door. They- well, Chisato knows for the fact it has to be ‘she’ in this case- seem to take a few minutes to gather their courage before finally opening the door to the training room.

_ creeeeak _

‘Ah, Aya-chan. It’s good to see you.’ Chisato prays that her tone doesn’t betray her uneasiness.

‘A-ah, hello C-chisato-chan! Uh, you said you wanted to talk to me…?’ Chisato wants to cringe at how similar this is to her dream from a few days ago. But she needs to focus.

She sent that message with a purpose in mind and she will fulfill this purpose.

‘I did,’ Chisato slowly says ‘you know why, don’t you?’

Aya looks up, doing her best to look into Chisato’s eyes despite their height difference. Her eyes… her eyes did fascinate Chisato, just a little bit. Unlike Chisato’s or Hina’s eyes, Aya’s eyes seemed to be an endless ocean of red pink. There seemed to be no white of the eye, though from observing Aya for a bit now Chisato knew it wasn’t accurate- it just that they usually weren’t visible.

Chisato would love nothing more than to lose herself in these eyes. She would love nothing more than to be able to hold two paws of two of few animals she truly cherished. To hold and be held, with no fear and no restrain.

But there would be no kindness like this for her in this world.

The best she could hope is making sure her friends wouldn’t share her fate.

‘...I didn’t call you here to scold you, Aya-chan. I just want to talk about what’s going on between Hina-chan and you.’

These words are enough for Aya to tense up. She needs to be gentler.

She needs to start again. She needs to meet Aya on her level.

And so, Chisato kneels. Eye to eye. Red pink to rosy.

‘Aya-chan. Please, calm down. I promise, I didn’t call you here because I was upset with you.’

There are tears in Aya’s eyes now but the girl just sniffs and tries not to become a bigger trainwreck than she already is.

‘A-are you not m-mad…?’ she chokes as she says this ‘A-about Hina-chan and me… the contract…’

Chisato lets out a long breath ‘No. No, I am not upset over that, Aya-chan. I don’t care about you breaking a contract thought up by an old men to make us appear pure and virginal.’

Chisato wants to scold herself for what she does next, for how despite everything she  _ still _ wants that dream from a few nights ago to be her reality, but Chisato is only a teen girl in love.

A teen girl in love who desperately wants to wipe away the tears of her loved one and comfort her. And so Chisato puts her paw on Aya’s cheek and collects any remaining tears.

‘I couldn’t care less about what is between you and Hina-chan,’  _ that’s a lie  _ ‘I just want you both to be okay and you clearly aren’t.’  _ that’s the truth. _

At least, it seems like Aya has calmed down with this. Good, at least she got better at this since her childhood days of accidentally making her kid co-stars cry even more.

But Chisato isn’t prepared for what Aya asks her next:

‘Chisato-chan… you and Hina-chan kissed, right?’ The mere words are enough to bring Chisato back to that day, to the flurry of kisses too passionate to be chaste yet too innocent to be anything more than just two teens getting a little carried away. Chisato can almost feel the sensation of Hina’s fangs on--

‘...Hina-chan told you?’ she can’t be mad at Hina in this case- if anything it was a reasonable choice compared to normal Hina antics.

‘Y-yes…’

There’s a moment of silence after that- what can Chisato say here? How can she explain herself and her actions? How can she save Aya’s heart from heartbreak, like those she herself has suffered?

She has to offer a good excuse, she  _ has _ to. Something, anything, just so Aya’s eyes continue to shine so brightly in Hina’s direction--!

‘Chisato-chan…

Are you in love with Hina-chan, too?’

Chisato’s heart is beating so loudly it almost muffles Aya’s voice.

There is only one answer she can give, for both of their sakes. Let her heart be ripped out of her ribcage once again, let her stew in jealousy, as long as Aya and Hina are happy and safe together.

‘No.’ She has no idea why this word stings this badly this time ‘No, I am not Aya-chan. I am merely concerned about my bandmates--‘

Aya’s soft voice interrupts her ‘You are lying Chisato-chan.’

‘I’m--‘

‘Chisato-chan,’ Aya’s smile is so, so bright it feels like looking directly in the sun. ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.’

And just like that, something in Chisato breaks.

It isn’t that dramatic, all things considered- Chisato isn’t about to cry, or spill every secret she swore to take to her grave to Aya.

But she is just so, so tired. No matter how much she might have wished to protect the ones she loved it seemed like she couldn’t even do that for Aya.

‘... this isn’t about my feelings Aya-cha--’

‘But it should be!’ tiny paws (how could someone’s paws be so small yet hold so much strength?) rest on Chisato’s cheeks as Aya wears the look of absolute determination, that one that meant that no matter how much she might have stumbled and failed Aya wouldn’t give up on her goal.

‘Don’t give up on your feelings just because I am your rival! I don’t want this…! I --!’ with every word Aya got louder and louder until it seemed like it might have been too much for her little body out of blue, as she chokes on air.

Aya takes few moments to gather some air in her lungs before quietly saying:

‘I don’t want you to just bottle up your feelings for Hina-chan like this because of me.’

Chisato can’t take this. She can’t take seeing Aya like this, her eyes teary because of her. Damned be everything she worked so hard for as long as she won’t have to see these tears born out of genuine heartbreak.

‘Aya-chan, I--’

_ Slam! _

‘Yo, Chisato-chan! What are you doing here so early?’

Hina always appeared like an avalanche.

But this time it just might be a deadly one.

Her and Aya part, as if that will protect them from the inevitable questioning by Hina.

‘Oh, Aya-chan is here too! Hey, hey do you want to swap spit?’ 

At that Aya’s whole body freezes in mortification.

‘H-hi-hina-chan! Don’t call it that!’ one panicked glance in Chisato’s direction ‘A-and don’t talk about it when we aren’t alone!!!’

Hina tilts her head at that ‘Why not? I mean, I would get that if it was Eve-chan or Maya-chan, but Chisato-chan already knows! So it’s fine!’

And then Hina’s eyes sparkle in  _ that _ way, that one that always made Chisato feel like she was just few steps away from a star and if she only had a courage to reach out she could grab it--

‘Oh, but since Chisato-chan is here we could all kiss each other!’

‘Whu-?!’ ‘I beg your pardon?’

Hina smiles, her fangs tantalizingly sharp (she never bothered to hide them, despite that good manners would dedicate otherwise) and says, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world:

‘I mean, I’ve liked kissing you both a lot, so maybe if we all do it together it will be even more boppin’-- oh, oh and you two can kiss each other as well! It would be real zappin’, I bet!’

Chisato feels a headache coming in. Glancing at Aya, the poor thing seemed to have circles instead of eyes due to the information overload Hina has gifted her with.

‘So, what do you two say?’ Hina tilts her head in question, her eyes still sparkling. A star in a wolf form.

Chisato would love to indulge Hina here- to say yes, and to watch Aya’s panicked reaction, to hold Aya close to her chest as she felt these fangs again but…

...this much want would inevitably spill and stain her perfect (nightmarish) life plan.

She can save this though. She just… has to play her cards right. Make Hina admit/realize she’s in love with Aya, witness a heartfelt confession from Aya and give them both her blessing on their new path in life.

And watch as yet another door closes before her, leaving her all alone.

‘Hina-chan…’ Chisato starts ‘...don’t you think that you should talk about something important with Aya-chan first?’

That statement made Hina’s ears perk up in confusion.

‘Um, no? I’ve already asked if I could kiss her so there’s nothing else left… is there?’ for a genius Hina could be an idiot.

Chisato wants to groan- of course this wouldn’t be as easy as she would have wanted. Luckily, she has an ally.

...who still seems to be overwhelmed by everything that has happened in the last five minutes but Chisato could manage.

‘Aya-chan.’

That seems to at least partially wake up Aya from her spiral ‘Eh? Chisato-chan?’

Chisato smiles with that special sickly sweet smile ‘Don’t you have something to say to Hina-chan?’

Aya’s eyes widen in panic at that, just as Hina's curious eyes aim their sight at the red panda.

There is no time for Aya to deflect the instant attention Hina showers her with as she crouched next to Aya ‘Oh, oh, what is it Aya-chan? Just so you know, I won’t be doing any of your poses with you!’

That comment seems to do the trick of finally snapping Aya back to reality ‘Hina-chan! It’s not about… that…’ any of Aya’s temporary bravado at Hina’s jab at her poses seemed to vanish as Hina got her muzzle in Aya’s personal space.

‘Then what is it Aya-chan?’ Despite Hina’s normal brashness she says it so, so gently. She really does love Aya, doesn’t she? In a way she would never love Chisato.

It would be fine though.

Chisato wasn’t born to play a lead in a story with a happy ending anyway.

But she could witness one.

That would be more than enough for her.

It takes few moments for Aya to gather her breath, but despite everything there is no hesitation when she asks:

‘Hina-chan… why did you kiss me?’

That question did seem to surprise Hina judging by the way her ears perk up. She seems to ponder over the question for a few moments and replies:

‘...because I’ve felt like it?’

…..

There’s an uncomfortable silence that envelopes the room.

A small voice is the one to break it.

‘...is that it?’ Chisato has never heard this tone from Aya before. This is wrong, this is not how this was supposed to go, goddamn it Hina--!

‘Yeah? Why would there be anything more?’ and Hina answers as if it was the most obvious answer in the world ‘I mean, I wanted to kiss someone and you were there so--’

‘Is that why you’ve kissed Chisato-chan as well?’ The coldness radiating from Aya’s voice is enough to freeze Chisato veins. ‘Because ‘she was there’?’

Hina laughs, as if she just heard a funny joke, completely unable to read the atmosphere.

‘Aya-chan, I’ve said Chisato-chan kissed me first~. Well, I did kiss her myself after but-’

**‘Is this just a fun pastime for you?!’**

Both Chisato and Hina can do nothing but stare in shock at Aya’s outburst.

They’ve never seen her like this before.

‘I mean--’ whatever Hina wants to say gets squashed by Aya’s sharp voice.

‘I know-- I know you are bad at considering others feelings but I still thought even you would know better than to-- then to play with my and Chisato’s hearts like this…!’

Chisato wants to throw up. This is not how this was supposed to go, this is not in the script, this is-

‘W-what do you mean?’ Hina, for her part, seems genuinely not understand what was going on ‘I just thought--’

‘...’it would be boppin’’, right?’ the chillnes in Aya’s voice seem to make it way for something else.

Tiredness.

‘...I know. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me Hina-chan but…

that just makes it hurt even more.’

And with that Aya runs out the studio, with tears in her eyes and leaving Chisato and Hina alone.

For a few moments all Hina can do is to stare in the direction Aya ran, as if unable to process just what has happened.

Slowly, Hina turns her head in the direction of Chisato and asks:

‘What… did Aya-chan meant by that?’ her voice sounds so small, so unlike her.

Hina really didn’t understand what she did wrong.

And somehow that made Chisato even more angry.

‘...Aya-chan loves you, Hina-chan. She loves you a lot.’

The way Hina’s eyes widen, how her ears stand ramrod straight- she really has never considered this.

‘Aya-chan… does…?’

‘She does. Very much so.’ with every word Chisato’s voice becomes more and more vicious ‘but you never thought to stop and think how she might have felt about you before you’ve kissed, didn’t you?’

‘I-’

‘That’s enough Hina-chan.’ Chisato cuts Hina off before she can even utter anything meaningful. ‘You have… you have really messed this one up. Tell the others something came up and neither I nor Aya-chan can make it today.’

And before Hina could even finish saying ‘wait’ Chisato leaves behind this cursed place.

Only Hina is left in the studio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: what is this ‘love’ you speak so fondly of?


	4. Wipe Off Your Drool Before Saying Sweet Nothings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate university and pandemic.
> 
> As always beta read by Max @silversilky on here. Read their stuff. That is not a suggestion

Sometimes, just sometimes, Tsugumi did wonder if she really was ‘too nice’, as her friends put it. These were rare thoughts and she never let them make themselves at home in her mind, but they were always sure to come back knocking.

And right now the knocking was becoming more and more obnoxious as Tsugumi tried her best to deliver a stack of documents almost as tall as herself some teacher dumped on her (‘You are always so reliable, Hazawa-san!’), while making sure to not stumble and send them all flying.

Haaaa, there goes her lunch with the rest of Afterglow and texting Sayo… She can’t stop herself from giggling at the thought of it- this new part of her ‘same as always’ was still so exciting. Sayo was... inept at texting, as Himari put it, but her texts… the way she tried her best to still type as formal as possible, and to her girlfriend (girlfriend!!! Who knew how wonderful this one word could sound!) to boot, it was all too cute. Maybe it was weird to think that way but the way Sayo would always try her best to hold back her excitement every time they saw each other but fail each time was the most adorable thing Tsugumi has ever seen.

Thinking of Sayo’s adorable tail wagging is enough to fill Tsugumi with a big boost of motivation! Alright! She’ll deliver these documents to the office as fast as possible and then she should still have some time left to eat lunch with Afterglow and to text Sayo for a bit! With this newfound motivation Tsugumi takes a few confident steps until…

‘Oh my~. Those papers sure look heavy, don’t they?’

A voice, the owner of Tsugumi can’t place, stops her dead in her tracks. Slowly, Tsugumi turns her head in the direction of the voice.

There, leaning against a wall, is a coyote she has definitely never seen before. By the way the girl wears her uniform it is clear she belongs to one of the so called trouble students. Second year perhaps?

While Tsugumi is busy taking her in, the coyote smiles and says: ‘You are Hazawa Tsugumi, right? I’ve heard a lot about you.’

‘O-oh, you have…?’ Tsugumi replies, trying her best to squash her instincts yelling at her to flee the scene. Come on Tsugu, you know better than to be suspicious of a large carnivore just wanting to talk…!

But another voice in her head, one that sounds suspiciously like Ran is telling her ‘ _ Tsugumi, you are way too nice for your own good. _ ’

The coyote smiles widely, so wide in fact that it looks almost grotesque.

‘Of course! I mean, not only you are a reliable member of the student council but you also play in a band! Afterglow, right?’

Internally, Tsugumi sighs with relief- the girl is probably just a fan whose approach was a bit awkward. ‘Y-yeah! I am the keyboardist- ah, you probably already know that haha…’

‘I do! I’ve also heard that not only do you hang out with carnivores in the band but that your  _ girlfriend  _ is one as well. Is that true?’

Tsugumi blood freezes.

She doesn’t like the tone or the look the coyote is giving her. There’s a creeping feeling from her tail to her ears that this isn’t a friendly conversation but rather--

‘Say,’ the girl asks, in a way that makes sure all of her sharp fangs are displayed to reflect the light in the hallway ‘that girlfriend of yours is a wolf, right? How does it feel getting fuc-’

‘How does what feel?’

A third voice joins in, with a light pat on Tsugumi’s head. A voice devoid of any respect for rules or other animals, a voice of an animal without any shackles, and one that yearned to taste the stars decorating the night sky.

It was the voice of--

‘Hina-senpai?!’

___

It was not unusual to see a certain squirrel busying around their school, carrying stacks of papers almost twice as tall as her, related to clubs or school announcements or other pointless documents.

What  _ was  _ unusual was seeing her being cornered by some wannabe girl gang boss, but Hina’s recent days were filled with unusual events. What’s one more?

Well, Hina couldn’t possibly leave her future sister-in-law in a situation like this! And, hey, it was definitely more interesting than simply eating her bento!

And so, Hikawa Hina, a young wolf who hated nothing more than boredom, strodes up to the couple and just as the coyote starts asking ‘How does it feel getting fuc-?’ puts her paw on Tsugumi’s head and says:

‘How does what feel?’

The reaction is immediate: the way the coyote’s eyes almost pop out of her eye sockets is so funny!- not as funny nor interesting as Aya-chan’s mind you (why does it hurt thinking about Aya-chan?)- and Tsugumi yanks her head up just before exclaiming:

‘Hina-senpai?!’

‘Ahaha, yup!’ Hina smiles widely at that- Tsugu-chan is just so cute! A voice in her mind, that sounds suspiciously like Sayo, tells her to not show off her fangs in presence of a herbivore but it’s Tsugu-chan! Sis’ girlfriend! Hell, she probably knew how Sayo’s fangs  _ felt  _ at this point- though, maybe it’s better for Hina not to speculate.

But Hina probably shouldn't be getting distracted by her sis' love life right now, right? After all, there's still a troublemaker in their midsts… and maybe, as Chisato would say, (again, what's with this sharp pain in her chest?) Hina herself wasn't much better but Hina would never do something as crass as to try to harass someone in an empty corridor!

'So? What was your question to Tsugu-chan?' Hina asks while scratching Tsugumi's head.

'I…' the coyote averts her eyes '... It doesn't matter. Forget it.' and that's all the goodbye they get before the coyote bolts from under their noses, leaving them alone.

‘Aww, so all bark and no bite? I’ve thought she might have at least put up more of a fight instead of running off with her tail between her legs.’ Hina whines.

Well, if she was going to run away Hina had no choice but to focus on the animal that stayed behind.

It looks like Tsugumi was still trying to process all the sudden developments, still looking in the direction the coyote ran off to. This state doesn’t last long however, as suddenly Tsugumi’s eyes shot wide open, as if remembering something. 

Flustered, Tsugumi starts ‘A-ah, thank you so much Hina-senpai! But, um, I have to go, I need to deliver these papers and-‘

But Hina cherfully interupts her with: 

‘I’ll go with you then!’ As she says this, Hina picks up probably around ¾ of the documents Tsugumi is carrying, despite Tsugumi’s audible protests. Hey, sis always told her she should help smaller animals with things like that! Maybe Tsugu will mention it to Sayo during one of their dates and then sis will share some fries with Hina, as a silent ‘thank you.’?

Sighing, and seeming to know that there is no use in arguing with Hina on this, Tsugumi gently tugs the bottom of Hina’s shirt and points in the direction they need to go.

It doesn’t take too long for Tsugu to explain that there is a specific room they need to be going to and that no, Hina can’t just drop the documents at the first office she sees.

Well, from Hina's point of view it seemed like a teacher decided to dump their own responsibility on Tsugu, knowing that she wouldn’t say no. So if they wanted to have the job done they should have done it themselves and not dump it on a student, but she doesn’t tell Tsugu that.

Hina can tell it’s important for Tsugumi to be relied on. And she doesn’t want to make someone she cares about cry.

Not so soon. Not so soon after...

‘Hina-senpai?’ There’s an uncertainty creeping in Tsugumi’s voice.

‘Mmmhm?’ Hina hums as she goes over what type of documents Tsugumi was stuck with delivering, pretending she wasn’t reminiscing about pink fur and rosy eyes. ‘’ _ To all bird students- _ ‘’

‘Please, don’t tell the rest of Afterglow what just happened. Or Sayo-san.’

This request stops Hina in her tracks and makes her look down at Tsugumi, the squirrel shying away from her stare.

‘Why though? Couldn’t Afterglow and sis do something about creeps like that girl?’ Hina tilts her head in question.

‘...’ Tsugumi doesn’t answer right away. She fidgets for a moment before almost whispering:

‘I… don’t want them to always protect me.’

Before Hina can say anything she continues.

‘It’s just… it just feels like Afterglow and Sayo-san both kind of treat me like…’ she waves her paws around looking for the word ‘...like a baby, that can’t take care of herself and them knowing about all this would only make it worse.’

Tsugumi turns her pleading eyes in Hina’s direction.

‘So please, Hina-senpai. Keep this secret, okay?’

Hina looks silently at Tsugumi for a few seconds before displaying her signature fangy grin:

‘Sure thing Tsugu-chan! But do tell me if you ever need someone to bare their fangs at your enemies! I wouldn’t want to miss out on the fun!’

‘Ummm, I don’t think that would be much fun…’ Tsugumi replies with some uneasiness in her voice but Hina can see that some of the tension has left her shoulders. 

It’s nice, Hina thinks. It’s nice, how there’s at least one small animal she was able to make happy recently, even if she doesn’t quite understand why.

She has never been good at understanding other animals. Never understood why one moment she and some other animal were all laughing together and the next moment they pushed Hina away and called her cruel.

And Hina was fine with that. Real, she was! But… but if that was the case why couldn’t she stop thinking of Aya crying while yelling at her and Chisato's cold voice?

There’s emptiness where her heart lays and Hina hates it- she hates nothing more than boredom and what is more boring than emptiness?

‘Hina-senpai? Is everything alright?’ There’s a tug on her skirt. Ah… how could she forget? Tsugu is still here, and clearly, the way Hina has been acting worries her. Tsugu’s nice like that.

Any other time, and Hina might have confessed what’s been going on. But something’s stopping her this time.

There’s nothing else for Hina to do but to don her wolfish smirk and ruffle the fur on Tsugumi’s head.

‘Just thinking how long these corridors are! They take foooooorever to get through, you know! … hey, maybe we should install these flat escalator thingies in corridors, I bet that would speed things up!’ She might have come up with the idea on a whim, to distract Tsugu from the melancholy present in her eyes, but Hina was real getting into this idea. It had some real potential to be a boppin’ good time!

That sentiment doesn’t seem to be shared by Tsugu, sadly.

‘Ahahah… I think that would most likely cause a lot of accidents… and it would be costly too...’ Sweet Tsugu. Even when shooting down her ideas she was so nice about it.

‘Well, I think it would be a good idea! Do you think the student council would consider it if I proposed the idea to them?’

Tsugumi scratches her cheek ‘Ummmm… I kind of doubt it…’

‘Awwwwww why not?!?’ Hina whines as Tsugumi tries to explain to her once again that not only would said investment be costly, it would also be dangerous, but Hina’s not really listening. 

She looks outside of a window they pass by. Somewhere, outside of this fancy and costly prison, there are two animals who Hina wanted to touch above anything else… but they didn’t want her touch, or they did, it was in a way Hina didn’t understand. 

There are so many things nowadays Hina, a genius and a rumored beastars candidate, couldn’t understand.

For the first time in her life, Hina remains a mystery even for herself.

‘Hey, hey Tsugu-chan.’ Hina interrupts Tsugumi’s still ongoing talk about safety in school hallways. ‘Do you and Afterglow have anything planned after school?’ 

All Hina knows for certain is that she doesn’t want to be alone today.

_______________________________

‘Moca. Stop showing off.’

‘Oh, whatever could Ran mean by that~? Moca-chan isn’t showing off, no sir~.’

Ran frowns at that, further cementing Hina’s view of how pointy she was. How come everyone else seemed to be confused when she called Ran that? It was enough to hang out with the feline for five minutes for her pointiness to become obvious, with how often she frowned.

‘You are holding your bag with your tail. That’s showing off.’ Ran says, pointing accusingly at Moca. Moca does a dramatic fake gasp at that accusation.

‘That’s just me using my natural talents to my advantage dear Ran! And like this we can hold our paws together! Don’t you want to~?’

That makes Ran fur bristle from embarrassment as she sputters ‘That’s-- that’s not what I meant! Moca!!!’

‘Ooooh, does my dear Ran want us to hold our tails together then? All you had to do is ask, you know! Here, Moca-chan will take her bag into her paw and we can make heart signs with our tails all we want~.’ Moca makes the motion to do just that before Ran quickly catches her paw while yelling ‘That’s not it, you moron!’.

‘Ah, so you did just want to hold paws together, gotcha!’ Ran frowns at that, confused, before looking down, to where her and Moca’s paws are interlocked. There are few seconds where Ran simply stares at their joined paws before her eyes widened in realization. She jumps a few feet away, separating their paws in the process, as if burned, cursing, as Moca laughs.

But it’s not like Hina went to the mall with just Ran & Moca though, a fact reminded by...

‘Ah, young love…’ a wistful sigh from down below.

‘Aren’t you all the same age though, Himari-chan?’ quips Hina.

That makes Himari jump up so high it almost makes up for the height difference between her and Hina. Aaaah, how Hina wishes she could jump as high… then again if she was a bunny she would be smaller and wouldn’t be able to reach a lot of places she could right now… That would stink.

Hina musings are interrupted as Himari yells out: ‘It’s just a figure of speech Hina-senpai! It’s not literal! Besides, Ran and Moca have started dating just recently so it IS young love--’

‘Babe, I think Hina-senpai was just teasing you.’ Tomoe says and in an attempt to calm Himari down pats her on her head. ‘Don’t need to get all worked up.’

Himari pouts at that while Tomoe laughs as she gently scopes Himari up in her arms. These two were well known around Haneoka as _that_ _especially_ _PDA-heavy couple_ and they worked hard to keep this reputation up.

‘Hina-senpai, please don’t tease Himari-chan…’

‘Ahaha, but she’s so funny to tease though!’ Tsugumi only sighs at Hina’s replay- and Hina wonders if Tsugumi ever envies the easiness Himari and Tomoe could show off their affection to each other.

Did Tsugu wish sis could hold her in her arms with the same ease as Tomoe held Himari? It’s not like her and sis weren’t affectionate- the fact that Hina walked on them cuddling in sis’ bed multiple times was a proof enough- but in public their affection was subdued. Small gestures, done after making sure only close friends were by. Even holding paws in public was rare for these two.

But knowing Tsugu, even if she felt envious, she would never tell sis so, not outright. Probably felt selfish over feelings like that. What a very Tsugu-chan thing to do.

Hina’s eyes drop further down, at a small bag Tsugumi was holding… well, small from Hina’s perspective. It was fairly big for an animal of Tsugu’s size. And looked uncomfortable to hold.

‘You sure you don’t wanna me to hold your bag Tsugu-chan?’

Tsugumi smiles at that and shakes her head ‘Thank you but no. It's not that heavy, I promise! Just a bit inconvenient to hold, haha…’

‘Tsuuuugu, did you get the new bath bombs you wanted?’ Himari chimes in, now settled and comfortable in Tomoe’s arms.

‘Mmmhm!’ Tsugumi cheerfully confirms ‘I was worried because I’ve heard they were selling like hotcakes but I’ve managed to grab a few! We can split if you want! I’ve heard these ones are really good for your type of fur.’

‘Oh! Oh, Tomoe, let me down, I wanna see what exactly Tsugu bought!’. Tomoe, as an ever obedient girlfriend, does just that, though her ears seem to droop at the thought of being deprived of holding her girlfriend.

Before Hina can observe Tsugumi and Himari looking through Tsugumi’s loot, a familiar fur appears on the periphery of her vision and Hina has no choice but to turn around.

The animal Hina sees is enough for a hundred watt smile to appear on her muzzle.

‘Ah! Sis! Over here!!!’ Hina enthusiastically waves her paws trying to get Sayo’s attention, while behind her Tomoe saves Himari from the fate of getting whacked by Hina’s tail going into overdrive.

It doesn’t take long for Sayo to notice them. First, her muzzle twists into… not a look of displeasure (Hina knows how that one looks all too well) but rather one of a grumpy babysitter who was about to deal with a way too spirited preschooler. But Hina doesn’t fail to catch the fondness hidden in Sayo’s eyes. Next, Sayo’s eyes follow behind Hina to see Tomoe’s gleeful ‘not thinking, friend spotted’ expression. The change in Sayo’s expression is instant. Her thought process clear as day.

‘‘Tomoe-san is here’->the rest of Afterglow is most likely around as well->which means that--!’’

‘Sayo-san! Wow, I didn’t expect to run into you today!’

‘Ah…’ Sayo visibly tries to hold back, she really does, but her tail is already wagging like crazy and her eyes look at Tsugumi as if she’s the brightest star in the sky- and knowing Sayo, for her she is. ‘I didn’t expect to run into you today as well, Tsugumi…-san.’

The grin on Hina’s muzzle keeps getting bigger and bigger- she will never be able to thank Tsugu enough for showing her this new side of sis. They have spent their whole life together yet since Sayo found Yukina and formed Roselia there have been so many new sides of Sayo Hina got to experience for the first time.

Sayo takes her eyes off Tsugumi, not without trouble, and looks at Hina, slightly frowning.

‘...forgive me for prying, but why is Hina here with you? She hasn’t dragged you into anything strange or dangerous, has she?’

‘Awwww, sis, have a little faith in me!’ Hina protests. She has been so good today! Though, it’s not like she can tell Sayo that-she promised Tsugu-chan not to after all.

‘I somehow doubt it.’ Sayo replies with an amusement in her voice.

At that Hina lets out a loud whine, which earns her laughter from Afterglow and a soft ‘fufu’ from Sayo.

‘Hina-senpai wanted to hang out today with us after school so we all went shopping.’ Tomoe offers an explanation, while giving Hina a friendly pat on the back.

‘I see.’ Sayo nods but her attention is already fully dedicated to Tsugumi. ‘What have you bought, Tsugumi-san?’

Tsugumi’s smile is radiant as her and Sayo get right into the swing of the conversation. Seeing the way sis and Tsugu-chan look at each other, the subtle gestures and smiles make Hina long for something. Or remember. Hina isn’t sure which one it is.

But as Hina watches Tsugumi talk, make small gestures, offer Sayo that special kind of smile, a memory- or a dream?- comes alive before Hina’s eyes.

A studio, one she grew oh so familiar with over time.

Two animals, in the middle of a talk.

The smaller one, a red panda with a surprisingly pinkish fur, is excitedly telling the other one something. From scraps of conversation Hina can gather (remember?) it’s about… performance? Or acting. Or maybe something totally different.

The other participant of the conversation- if it could be called that, with a red panda so far being the only one speaking- simply smiles and nods from time to time.

A pretty golden doe, fondly looking down on her companion, yet her eyes seemed like they belonged to someone much older.

Oh.

That was what the way sis and Tsugu-chan acted reminded her of.

Of Chisato and Aya.

Was that how all animals in love looked at each other? Was it simply just a coincidence? Is it just how small and big animals looked at each other?

.

..

…

...was this how Hina looked like when she stared at Aya or Chisato? Was she also--

‘Ah!’

And just like that Aya and Chisato vanish, making place for distressed Tsugumi and surprised Sayo watching as one of Tsugumi’s newly bought bath bombs rolls away from them, seemingly determined to win a world record.

Now, Hina is a canine. As a canine she is bound by certain instincts.

One of them, a fundamental one in fact, is: a round object rolling away is to be chased.

In slow motion, Hina moves her legs to get ready to fetch but-

A blur of teal fur speeds past her to chase the rolling bath bomb, not giving Hina even a fighting chance. A paw adorned by dulled claws reaches out for the speeding ball and grabs it, as its owner barely manages to avoid falling flat on her snout.

‘Tsugumi-san, I caught it!’

Sayo turns around, her eyes sparkling- be it from excitement or a joy at being useful for someone she loves oh so much-, holding the ball high in the air like a hard earned trophy.

In another word, Sayo Hikawa is acting like an overexcited puppy.

For a while no one speaks, too shocked at what they have just witnessed, until Tomoe’s muzzle lights up and she shouts with awe:

‘Wow, nice catch Sayo-san! I don’t think I ever saw someone fetch so fast!!’

These words seem to wake Sayo up from her fetch trance, the realisation of just what she did,  _ in public _ , hitting her.

In an instant Sayo’s ears flatten against her head, the mortification of knowledge filling her. In a futile attempt to save her rapidly diminishing dignity, Sayo clears her throat and mechanically walks up to Tsugumi to bend over and present the caught bath bomb:

‘H-here Tsugumi-san…’

Nothing could have prepared Sayo for Tsugumi to suddenly latch onto her neck in a truly tsugurific fashion and to softly shout ‘I love you so much, Sayo-san!’

___

They separate soon after, Sayo’s embarrassment at sudden PDA from Tsugumi and ensuing teasing both from Hina and Afterglow still thick in the air- but despite it Sayo still gently bumps her nose against Tsugumi’s own as she and Hina say goodbye to Afterglow.

And just like that Hina and Sayo are alone, silently walking back to their home.

Well, the silence is on Sayo’s part. Hina on the other hand...

'Sis.'

'...'

S~is!'

'... I'm not talking to you.'

'Eh, you are doing it right now though?'

At that comment Sayo stares daggers in Hina's direction.

'You know what I mean Hina.'

'Seriously sis, you don’t need to be so embarrassed, I mean, Tsugu-chan thought you were suuuuuuper cute chasing that bal-'

'AAARGH!!!' Sayo is covering her ears. 'Do you know how humiliating that was?! EVERYONE SAW!' Her paws move to cover her maw as she mumbles 'I didn't want Tsugumi-san to see me like this...'

'Oh, cheer up sis!' Hina, as someone without tact, moves to pat Sayo on her back. 'Tsugu-chan already knows you are not as calm and collected as you pretend to be. She definitely thinks this gap is cute~.'

‘Hina, I swear to god, I will kill you one day.’

Hina bursts into laughter at that. Sayo’s only response to that is to grumble but she seems more collected than before. They could walk like this back to their home, as if it was a normal day for both of them, but all day,  _ all day _ Hina hasn’t been able to stop seeing pink and gold fur everywhere.

It’s maddening- that sick feeling in her stomach, the way she keeps turning her head around, thinking she has just caught a glimpse of Aya or Chisato, and, worst of all, she can’t understand  _ why _ she’s feeling that way.

But her big sister might.

Her sister, who would explain to Hina each time why others didn’t want to be told they looked ‘funny’, why things she said made other animals cry, who would sigh and go ‘Haven’t I explained it to you before?’ but still would go over it each and every time…

Sis was always there to explain others to Hina.

Maybe, just this once, she could explain Hina to Hina.

‘Hey? Sis?’

‘Yes Hina?’

Hina pauses- for the first in her life it’s hard for her to decide just what to say. Sayo, noticing Hina’s reluctance, comes to a halt, and asks:

‘Hina? Is everything alright?’

Hina wants so badly to say yes, yes she’s fine, don’t worry about it sis, let’s go and get some fries on the way home! but she knows that that would be a lie.

Hikawa Hina isn’t fine. And the reason she isn’t is--

‘How do you know if you are in love?’

Hina’s question hangs between them, Sayo’s expression unreadable. Hina was never prone to feeling anxiety but this time she can’t help it. Did she ask the wrong thing? Is Sayo gonna to get angry at her question? Is she gonna to yell at her? Ignore her?

Finally, after what feels like infinity, Sayo answers Hina’s question with a question of her own:

‘...is this about Maruyama-san and Shirasagi-san?’

‘...maybe.’

‘I see.’

‘...’

‘...’

Silence again. Inhale. Exhale. Sayo speaks again.

‘...I think the answer for that is different for every animal.’

‘...is it?’

Sayo pauses for a moment, unsure as to what to answer but continues:

‘I think so. I… don’t think I know much about love, actually.’ She admits ‘I am… still learning, but from what I’ve seen love is different from everyone.’

Sayo keeps going ‘The way Mitake-san and Aoba-san love each other is different from how Udagawa-san and Uehara-san love each other… and they are different from how I and Tsugumi-san l-love each other as well.’ Sayo’s ears twitch, embarrassment from using ‘love’ to refer to what she and Tsugumi have evident on her muzzle.

‘I… don’t know if what you feel for Maruyama-san and Shirasagi-san is love. I could describe how I’ve realised I was in love but... I can’t imagine being in your shoes, Hina.’ Sayo stops, hesitating before her next words. ‘I… can’t imagine loving two animals at once. I can’t imagine wanting anyone other than Tsugumi-san but that doesn’t mean your love isn’t true.’

‘All of this to say… I can’t tell you if you are in love, Hina.’

Hina can’t hide the disappointment in her voice ‘You can’t?’

‘No,’ Sayo shakes her head ‘but... I will be there for you Hina. Be it love or not, I will be there for you. Always.’

‘You promise?’ Hina asks, her voice trembling.

‘I do.’ There’s confidence in Sayo’s eyes that Hina saw so rarely over the last few years, but they quickly change to ones of concern ‘...Hina? Are you crying?’

‘Huh? Am I?’ That’s news to Hina, but as she reaches to touch her muzzle she finds fur around her eyes wet. ‘A-ahaha… I guess I am…’

Hina’s about to try to say that it’s fine, it’s not a big deal, Sayo doesn’t need to worry when…

There are arms around her.

Sayo is hugging her. The fact alone is what does Hina in; there is no stopping those waterworks.

‘I-I think I really hurt them sis…’ Hina manages to get out through the sobs.

Sayo’s response is to hug her even tighter. ‘Then apologise.’

‘...w-what if they don’t forgive me though?’

‘I don’t know,’ Sayo admits. ‘But unless you apologise you will never know.’ she then adds, barely a whisper ‘I know something about that.’

Now it’s Hina’s turn to hug Sayo tighter.

They don’t know how long they hold each other like this, but by the end of it there is one thing Hina is sure of:

No matter what happens, if sis is on her side she can do it.

__________________________________

‘Okay girls, time for a short break and then we’ll take it from the top again, alright?’ their instructor asks before quickly making her exit out of the studio, leaving three idols behind.

Aya and Chisato once again didn’t attend practice sessions.

And once again their absence was felt most acutely.

There is awkwardness between three of them that simply isn’t there at any other time- it was always fun to mess around with Eve and Maya. Eve was more often than not ready to catch whatever Hina threw at her (sometimes literally) and Maya, while a voice of reason, was still more than willing to play around (‘within reason’ she would say).

So it wasn’t like Hina didn’t like hanging with these two alone, far from it.

She just didn’t like the reason  _ why _ it was happening.

‘Ah-haha, it looks like Chisato-san and Aya-san are still not coming back to practices, huh?’ Maya asks, as if she was trying to defuse the tension in the room, but she cut the wrong wire here.

‘Seems so.’ Hina answers, as if this fact wasn’t gutting her inside.

‘Well…’ Maya tries to come up with a good response to that but fails, and instead stands in the middle of the room, awkwardly, as Hina looks at a wall as if it's the most interesting thing to ever exist.

For a moment it looks like this will be how they spent their entire break but a loud slapping sound that makes them both turn their heads.

There stands Eve, her paws on her cheeks, face full of determination.

‘This is no good! We can’t keep on going like this!’

‘Eve-san…?’ Maya tilts her head in a surprise.

‘I know we all feel lost and confused but we can’t just stand around and despair!’

‘So, um… what should we do?’ Maya asks.

Eve ponders on this question for a moment and then cheerfully answers with: ‘I don’t know!’

‘Y-you don’t?’ Maya stutters, shocked at Eve’s happy-go-lucky response.

Eve shakes her head, her ears flopping wildly ‘I don’t! But we can figure it out! I’m sure of it!’

Her eyes sparkle as she continues: ‘Nothing will stop us if we all unite!’

It’s at this point Hina bursts into laughter ‘Ahahaha, you are always so funny Eve-chan!’

Eve puffs her chest out, proud ‘Thank you Hina-san!’

‘I don’t think it was much of a compliment Eve-san…’

‘What did you mean by ‘unite’ Eve-chan? Are we gonna to combine into one giant robot?’

‘Hmmmmm…’ Eve frowns, seriously considering the possibility ‘I think that’s a good idea but we would need to have our own robots for it to work…’

Maya cuts in ‘Um, I think instead of talking about science fiction and all that we should, um, probably just discuss what’s been going on recently? With Chisato-san and Aya-san, I mean.’

‘Oh!’ Eve claps her paws together. ‘That would make sense!’

‘It would, wouldn’t it…’ Hina murmurs to no one but herself. If they start talking about it, sooner or later it will become clear that Hina is responsible for the current state of PasuPare and that is not a can of worms she wants to open.

Still, what else can they do? Soon, the whole affair will come out of the closet anyway. Can she really avoid talking about this with Eve and Maya?

Hina hesitates for a moment, trying to gather her courage but she can’t.

What can she say, real? That she messed up and didn’t really consider the feelings of two other parties before making out with them and now they are both hurt by her carelessly playing with their hearts?

Sure, Hina could tell as much to Sayo but there was a world of difference between confiding in your sister and confiding in your friends, no matter how close.

As awful as it makes Hina feel, she needs to deflect this topic.

She needs more time.

But before she can even come up with an excuse, Maya’s voice rings out:

‘Ah, actually, maybe let’s not do that.’

Huh?

Both Hina and Eve look at Maya as if she had sprouted a second head.

‘Maya-san? But this was your idea?’ Eve tilts her head in confusion, her ears flopping around.

‘Y-yeah, but, um-’ Maya stops to glance at Hina, and in that moment Hina realises that Maya must know  _ more  _ than she lets on, ‘I’ve just realised um, that just purely speculating about our bandmates’ lives might not be that smart?’

It doesn’t seem like Maya is convinced by her own excuse, nor is Eve. But before Eve can say anything Maya tries to subtlety point her eyes at Hina.

It fails spectacularly, the subtle part that is. Eve follows Maya’s gaze as obviously as one can and looks straight at Hina for a few seconds, before her eyes widen in realisation.

Quickly Eve tries to backpedal. ‘Y-you are right Maya-san! It’s rude to speculate! Especially if they might not be ready yet to talk!’ 

‘E-eve-san that’s--’ Maya attempts to calm Eve down, to not make it any more obvious that they know something must have happened between Aya, Chisato and Hina but that candle was already blown.

_ They know _ , Hina thinks,  _ they know something is up between her and the other two but they don’t want to force her to talk. _

‘I-i am just saying that,’ Maya fumbles, ‘that… you know, they might not be ready yet to talk? And that, um, maybe we just need to give them some time to uuuh think!’

Maya tries not to glance in Hina’s direction but at some point seems to give up at pretending that Hina doesn’t know that they know something is up.

Eve shakes her head in agreement ‘Yeah! And we can wait for them until they are ready to talk! For as long as they need!’

_ ‘For as long as they need!’ _

These words ring inside Hina’s head.

Even if they don’t know.

Even if they don’t understand.

Maya and Eve are still there for her.

She sniffs- god, what's with her and getting so emotional lately?- and gives no chance for Eve and Maya to prepare themselves before she launches at them in an unexpected hug.

‘H-huh?!’

‘Oh, is it a group hug time?’

There is only one thing Hina can say now:

‘I really, really, REALLY love you guys!’

__

‘-well, our camouflage does have its limits.’ Maya says ‘It takes practice to be able to turn even a small area of your body semi-invisible and it’s not like our clothes can change colors-‘

‘So, if you want to be fully invisible you have to get naked?’ Hina shoves her muzzle close to Maya’s in excitement. ‘Hey, why don’t we test this out then?’

When they ended up broaching the topic of Maya’s chameleon physiology, the poor girl definitely wasn’t expecting to be asked by Hina if she would undress in the middle of the training studio.

After the sudden hugging session the girls decided to spend the rest of their break simply chatting like normally. The weight of recent happenings still weighed heavily on Hina’s heart- but with the knowledge how many animals supported her that weight was a bit easier to carry.

Both Eve and Maya seemed to be relieved at this development- but now Maya must have had at least some regrets, judging by her scarlet red scales.

‘Ohoho, how neat Maya-chan! Your scales’ color can change so fast!’ For her part, Hina has already moved from the previous topic and is admiring Maya’s scales while Maya is trying to hide her head in her arms from the embarrassment.

‘I don’t think being naked in public space would be very bushido, Hina-san!’ Luckily for Maya, Eve is there to save her from Hina’s further mendling.

This statement causes Hina to laugh, before stretching and laying down on a ground with a big thud.

Aaaahhhh… this was definitely what she needed, a bit of respite to recharge. Maybe she could try and visit Aya and Chisato at their school tomorrow? Her tail wags. Sis would probably get mad at her skipping school but this was way more important than whatever lessons she had that day!

_ creaaaaaaaaaaak _

Huh? Hina’s ear twitches in surprise. They still have five minutes of break left and their trainer never comes a second early. What’s going on.

All three of them look in the direction of the door and see their trainer, visibly shaken, along with one of their managers looking as if he saw a ghost and…

A cop.

_ (The sinking feeling in Hina’s stomach reappears again.) _

‘Uh, girls.’ Their manager addresses them, but ends up sounding uneasy.

_ (During all their interactions with the old panther he always spoke in a monotone, steady voice. None of them ever heard a bit of doubt or unease in his voice.) _

He opens his mouth to speak, closes it, before trying again ‘...please listen to what Mr. Officer has to tell you. And please remain calm.’

_ (Hina feels ready to throw up.) _

The tiger officer tips his hat,

and 

says

‘I regret to inform you that we believe that Maruyama-san has been kidnapped.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: fangs and claws.

**Author's Note:**

> Dramatis animalium (mind you, not all of them are relevant or will even show up; I just wanted to have a list so I can be consistant):
> 
> Hina- common wolf  
> Aya- red panda  
> Chisato- white tailed deer  
> Eve- samoyed  
> Maya- common chameleon
> 
> Arisa- crow  
> Tae- flemish giant rabbit  
> Saya- Alpine ibex  
> Rimi-Japanese red fox  
> Kasumi- giant golden-crowned flying fox
> 
> Kaoru- arabian horse  
> Kanon- huacaya alpaca  
> Misaki- Spectacled bear  
> Kokoro- ferret  
> Hagumi- cheetah 
> 
> Sayo- common wolf  
> Lisa- Eurasian lynx  
> Yukina- korat cat  
> Rinko- racoon  
> Ako- german shepherd
> 
> Tomoe- german shepherd  
> Tsugumi- Japanese squirrel  
> Himari- French lop  
> Moca- opossum  
> Ran-Domestic short-haired cat
> 
> _____________________________________
> 
> Twitter at @czerwonyrower (some +18 content, usually of homoerotic furry art variety)


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